Tag: Self-pity

Trapped in the WHINEyard?

The only thing that whining or complaining does is to convince other people that you are not in control. Helpful? Far from it. And for all those who are under the mistaken impression that whining burns calories, sorry to disappoint you..it doesn’t!!

 

Whineyards grow only sour grapes.

 

Come to think of it- whining is a seductive package deal. When it works, it gets us attention, lowers expectations, it gains sympathy and it forces or coerces people to identify with our pain.

 

When whining becomes a habit, we need to continue it- so we begin to interpret events as opportunities to prove that our whining is justified.

 

People hate being around a whiner when the selfish desires of the habitual whiner becomes clear. As Lord Jeffrey put it so eloquently ” The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellect “.

 

It would be great to remember that our complaints, drama, victim mentality, whining, blaming and all of the excuses that we come up with has never taken us even one step closer to our goals or dreams. So, time to let go of the nonsense, let go of the delusion that we deserve better and go earn it!

 

Our shared reality is the world as it is, and the whiner isn’t actually being singled out. The best way to make things better is to WORK to improve them, NOT demand special attention and treatment.

 

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are far more blessed than the million plus people who will not survive this week. If you can read this blog then you are far more fortunate than the millions who cannot read it at all.

 

Optimists run the risk of being disappointed now and then. Whiners are always disappointing!

 

Nobody is going to invite you and say ‘ here’s some cheese to go with your whine “- so, you know what to opt for- and whynot?

 

 

ENDS

 

How about changing your ‘ mailing address ‘ ?

When you look back at life, do you pat yourself on the back or turn your back on life?

 

We never forget the postal address of our past. Where we often mail metaphorical letters. Mostly letters of beration. Admonishment. Of the mistakes we made. Of the wrong decisions we took. Regretting the missed opportunities. Spending valuable time wallowing in self-pity.

 

Often taking the easy route or short cut to blaming our younger self for the mess we may be in.

 

Let’s do something contrarian. Begin with changing the mailing address. What would you be saying to your future self?  And how would you feel when you read that letter in a few months or few years from now?

 

May be you would realise that the crisis or cataclysm that you are facing right now did not turn out as badly as you feared. Maybe you would express some optimism that you could convert to action. And maybe you would develop some empathy for your past self, who was just doing the best you could.

 

So, let’s change where we where we post to. Begin at the destination and travel back to a better address. A future back perspective is a much better one than a present forward one.

 

Nothing is a mistake. There is no WIN. Or no FAIL. There’s only MAKE. Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.

 

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis. Karma has everyone’s address. Yours is in the mail now.

 

Yesterday has passed. We can treat it as a gift or an asset from our previous self. Having said that, there is no gun on the head. You don’t have to accept it if you don’t want to. Tomorrow is a bigger, better opportunity. But, if you are still defending that stuck project of the past( where you have sunk in big emotional labour among other things), you are not making headway as you can’t show up for the new better. Oh! that sunken feeling!

 

ENDS