Tag: Delusion

A Sorry Tale!

Sorry comes in two variants. Choice architecture anyone?

 

And often times, we ‘ miss the wood for the trees ‘.

 

” I am sorry your dog died ” does not mean that you killed the dog. Not at all.

 

” I am sorry I tripped you ” does mean that you tripped some one.

 

In creating connection and trying to make amends, we often get confused by the two kinds of sorry, and hence don’t apologize because we think that the problem wasn’t our fault.

 

” The homepage of our relationship cannot be currently displayed because of a server error. Can we please click on the refresh button and start all over again? I am sorry “.

 

Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.

 

One of the hardest things you may ever have to do in life is to deliver an apology. A true and sincere apology offers real regret and remorse for our actions, and carries a promise that we won’t do it again. It means acknowledging our faults, taking responsibility for the things we have done wrong, and opens a dialogue between two people. An apology, when correctly given and sincerely meant, can create deeper and more trusting relationships.

 

An apology is a good way to have the last word. And the first to move things forward. And make a relationship last.

 

The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway–Henry Boye

 

ENDS

Trapped in the WHINEyard?

The only thing that whining or complaining does is to convince other people that you are not in control. Helpful? Far from it. And for all those who are under the mistaken impression that whining burns calories, sorry to disappoint you..it doesn’t!!

 

Whineyards grow only sour grapes.

 

Come to think of it- whining is a seductive package deal. When it works, it gets us attention, lowers expectations, it gains sympathy and it forces or coerces people to identify with our pain.

 

When whining becomes a habit, we need to continue it- so we begin to interpret events as opportunities to prove that our whining is justified.

 

People hate being around a whiner when the selfish desires of the habitual whiner becomes clear. As Lord Jeffrey put it so eloquently ” The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellect “.

 

It would be great to remember that our complaints, drama, victim mentality, whining, blaming and all of the excuses that we come up with has never taken us even one step closer to our goals or dreams. So, time to let go of the nonsense, let go of the delusion that we deserve better and go earn it!

 

Our shared reality is the world as it is, and the whiner isn’t actually being singled out. The best way to make things better is to WORK to improve them, NOT demand special attention and treatment.

 

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are far more blessed than the million plus people who will not survive this week. If you can read this blog then you are far more fortunate than the millions who cannot read it at all.

 

Optimists run the risk of being disappointed now and then. Whiners are always disappointing!

 

Nobody is going to invite you and say ‘ here’s some cheese to go with your whine “- so, you know what to opt for- and whynot?

 

 

ENDS