Tag: Connections

All at sea with courtesy ?

 

Connections lead to possibilities. More conversations and discovery. Establishing a genuine two way street. Creating more possibilities. Keeping the door open. For the next. For the better. To be going forward. Onwards and upwards.

 

 

Connections do lead to asking favours. And receiving them. And when you take or receive a favour, there is no shame in expressing gratitude or a thank you. Make the favour giver feel special, so that she or he feels motivated to make it second nature. Courtesy takes less than a few seconds to get across. And inertia should never get in the way. For all those who hide behind the hustle culture inspired ‘ lack of time or need ‘ narrative. And when you don’t show that what gets established is that you don’t want to acknowledge the obligation or connection.

There is a reason why it’s called a two way street. Because not just the person receiving the favour but the person offering it benefit as well. Keeping the door ajar for more possibilities. Making the connections better. And the virtuous cycle of more and better.

 

 

A favour is not an entitlement. And so long as that is the noise in our heads, civility will get the nod. As it should.

 

 

Because it is not a faucet which can be switched on or off, courtesy should be a continuous action.

 

 

And just like ‘ please ‘, ‘ sorry ‘, ‘ excuse me ‘, ‘ thank you ‘ falls into the category of magic words. So, let’s not make that go out of fashion.

 

 

Spread the magic. It’s a courtesy call.

 

 

ENDS

 

A Sorry Tale!

Sorry comes in two variants. Choice architecture anyone?

 

And often times, we ‘ miss the wood for the trees ‘.

 

” I am sorry your dog died ” does not mean that you killed the dog. Not at all.

 

” I am sorry I tripped you ” does mean that you tripped some one.

 

In creating connection and trying to make amends, we often get confused by the two kinds of sorry, and hence don’t apologize because we think that the problem wasn’t our fault.

 

” The homepage of our relationship cannot be currently displayed because of a server error. Can we please click on the refresh button and start all over again? I am sorry “.

 

Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.

 

One of the hardest things you may ever have to do in life is to deliver an apology. A true and sincere apology offers real regret and remorse for our actions, and carries a promise that we won’t do it again. It means acknowledging our faults, taking responsibility for the things we have done wrong, and opens a dialogue between two people. An apology, when correctly given and sincerely meant, can create deeper and more trusting relationships.

 

An apology is a good way to have the last word. And the first to move things forward. And make a relationship last.

 

The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway–Henry Boye

 

ENDS

Attention Piece!

It is said that attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.

 

The poet J.D. McCatchy captured this essential fact beautifully in his observation that “love is the quality of attention we pay to things.”.

 

It’s a no brainer. Before we can create anything worthy of other people’s attention, we have to learn to manage ours.

 

Our world is the outcome of what we pay attention to. Period. Attention is the currency of achievement.

 

Being present is the best present we can give ourselves. And to others. There is a curious power in being present. When we are present, we see the other person more clearly. We communicate better. We make lasting connections.

 

Unfortunately, in our always on, go-go-go world, being  with someone who is fully present and therefore offering attention is rare.

 

Good work and great art comes from deep focus and deep work. Our ability to be prolific, create art that resonates, that strikes a chord , tug at the heartstrings and hit people in the face with a crowbar depends on our ability to focus.

 

Consider for a moment the kind of mental world we can construct when we dedicate significant time and attention to deep endeavors.

 

“Attention, taken to its highest degree, is the same thing as prayer,” Simone Weil observed as she considered the relationship between attention and grace at the peak of her short life. “Attention without feeling,” Mary Oliver wrote a generation later in her beautiful elegy for her soul mate, “is only a report.”

 

It’s hard to carve out time and space for work or art that matters if we’re always distracted by things don’t.

 

So, how much art have you made today?

 

” I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door “. Marla Gibbs

 

ENDS