Distress Sail!

Apparently, there is ” Wisdom of the Crowds “..” A Collective Bias “.

 

Though not sure with wisdom and bias– can the twain meet?

 

Since decades, marketers and politicians have been working to exaggerate cultural distress, a hack on our emotions.

 

Mind you, it’s not about the emotional distress of not having a roof, or not being able to care for your kids or deal with trauma..
..but the manufactured cultural distress of ‘ modern advanced societies ‘.
Like the invented shame of not having the latest smartphone or a new suit for the party..
It’s the dissatisfaction of knowing that something ‘better’ is available, and the invented discontent that comes from the peer pressure of being left out or left behind.
A vocabulary called FOMO(Fear of Missing Out) – like the social shame of not having enough presence on social media..
or the FOMO that watching other people presenting nothing but happiness online can create..
Fear of this sort of cultural distress pushes us to simply spend money to avoid it..Making a budget is hard, paying for not making one is easy.
It turns out that selling an easy and convenient way to avoid social pain is a nearly boundless formula for corporate growth..
We humans are always going to find moments of cultural distress, and it’s up to each of us to decide what to trade (in the short run and the long run) to deal with it.
Perhaps it makes sense simply to acknowledge that it’s present. That would be a good starting point, isn’t it?
People like us do things like this..ready, steady..set sail!

AWEptimism V PAUSEmism

Ideally, conventional phonetics would have called this out as Optimism V Pessimism. That being said, ideal is only wishful thinking. Better get used to shock and awe.

 

A posture. A stance. A position. About what to expect.

 

response(or reaction) to external events or triggers.

 

Sensing the reality on the ground, an obligation to make a decision based on what to expect.
That does not though explain why different people, similarly informed, adopt an optimistic mood or a pessimistic one.
In fact, that mood is a choice. And it’s one that determines how we will behave.
Optimism is a tool that permits us to solve problems more effectively. If used wisely, it brings enthusiasm, inspiration and hope to projects that benefit from them.
And pessimism(believe it or not) is a tool as well– it can help you with budgeting, scheduling and other projects. If it works for you, that’s great.
Choose your tools wisely

That said, either mood will lead to misguided energy and poor decisions.

But if we can be thoughtful about optimism as a tactic, the focus and energy it brings can solve problems that others might simply walk away from. Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

 

Our pessimism might not be an accurate diagnosis of the past. Baggage carried forward. It might simply be a way we’re using to produce a future we’re not happy with.

 

“What people forget is a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too.

 

BEGINS

 

 

 

 

 

WANTED: Editor-in-Chief: For LIFE!

I was never even mediocre at either math or arithmetic. Hence, if this fails to add up, I am completely at home with it.

 

” So the writer who breeds more words than she needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads ” – so said Dr. Seuss.
Every year at the Oscars, the award for Best Picture gets all the fanfare( last year, of course Will Smith had other ideas). That may be stating the obvious. What might be not so obvious is in contrast, the award for film editing flies under the radar. But you may be surprised by the correlation between these two awards.
Since 1981, only three films have won “Best Picture” without also being nominated for “Best Film Editing”.
Why is editing so crucial in filmmaking?
A good film editor removes distractions by eliminating trivial or irrelevant things. She uses deliberate subtraction to add life to the ideas, setting, plot, and characters.
 
 
The best films are exceptional not because of what we see but because of what we don’t see.
We can draw parallels here. And use the same principles to edit our own lives. We might be from Mars or Venus but on Mother Earth our never ending to-do list need not be a perennial match for our Herculean, Machiavellian competence and calibre that we seem to have been willy nilly blessed(cursed?) with. Probably there is a space to begin by ‘ separating the vital few from the trivial many ‘.

The over ignored practice of essentialism.
Mind you, this is no easy task. To distill and rein in our incorrigibly elastic task list. How will we answer our ego? Or camouflage our insecurities? We find comfort in “keeping our options open”. But having too many options leaves us without direction. Having a few focused options gives our life a clear direction and makes decision-making easier.
Eventually, every cut ​we​ make brings joy. Maybe not in the moment, but soon ​we​ will realize the time ​we have​ gained can now be spent on something better.
We, as people, ​systematically overlook subtractive changes, instead following ​our​ instincts to add. There is nothing inherently wrong with adding. But if it becomes a default path to improvement, that may be failing to consider a whole class of other opportunities​.
The paltry rate of subtraction in our ​life or ​organizational-improvement​ journey is appalling.​ To improve a redundant piece of writing, few produce an edit with fewer words. To improve a jam-packed travel itinerary, ​we hardly remove events or places to​ allow ​us​ to savor the ones that remained. To improve a Lego structure, ​we hardly take​ pieces away. Whether ​we​ ​are changing ideas, situations, or objects, the dominant tendency i​s to do so by adding.
In an increasingly attention starved​, attention craving economy, subtraction ​has a ​noticeability ​​​​problem​. When we add things, apparently it gets noticed. But when we subtract..we seem to miss the point.
Life has a way of taking over. We start running on auto-pilot especially when we are overwhelmed, in over our heads, or simply worn out from all that life is throwing our way. And this past couple of years, life has been throwing more than ever our way.
After a while of trying to keep all the balls in the air, we stop paying attention and simply start reacting. Amidst all the chaos, we know something has to change, but we don’t know what or how.
When was the last time ‘ nurturing our heart and soul ‘ was part of our to-do list? It hardly makes​ the list of things to take care of during the day. If ​we​ prioritize the nurturing of our heart and soul, by taking time to listen to what they want, by engaging in soul-soothing activities and by using them to guide our actions, ​we​ ​can​ get our life back. ​We​’ll remember who ​we​ are​(otherwise in the stage called life​,​ we are all practicing ‘ selective amnesia ‘)​ and begin to attract people and projects that are a perfect fit for the real ​us​.
S​o what is the take away? ​Yes, you guessed it, take away, to make way!
BEGINS

Hope is more than a four letter word

Making a Cape  sorry..Case of Good Hope!

 

We all know 2020 has been quite the decade (and we all have the stress wrinkles to prove it), so here’s hoping that this blog on hope is a boost.

 

Wisdom of the crowds.

 

Collective bias.

 

Herd mentality.

 

Birds of the same feather flocking together.

 

All of the above exemplifies the force and velocity of a human collective.

 

Why not add hope to the mix? The power of collective hope.

 

Unabashed capitalism has never been a great ally of either faith or hope. But our hopes, not our hurts, shape our future.

 

If we can combine accepting finite disappointment without losing infinite hope, we would all be in clover.

 

Writer and essayist Lu Xun has this to share on the power of collective hope:

 

” Hope is like a road in the country side..where there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence “.

 

It’s not too late. The space of possibilities is endless. The most interesting terrain remains unexplored. Hope is like the sun. Never fails to rise.

 

Hope is a powerful four letter word. And collective hope is a fource to reckon with.

 

ENDS

 

How Steep Is Your Love?

Please pardon me if the caption of this blog post sounds comfortingly familiar to the Bee Gees classic single ” How Deep Is Your Love “. Inspired? Yes, absolutely.

 

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

 

It shouldn’t be such a difficult thing to do, but, yet it is.

 

How to love yourself.

 

One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others.

 

There will be times when you will be feeling lousy about your state of mind, your over-fifty body, your hair, you see yourself as too fat, too this or too that..it’s a rabbit hole that we all go into.

 

Yet you fantasise about finding someone who would give you the gift of being loved as you are. Contrarian, isn’t it?

 

It is silly, isn’t it, that you would dream of someone else offering to you the same acceptance and affirmation that you are voluntarily withholding from yourself.

 

The word ‘ love ‘ is most often defined as a noun. But, it is worth altering the trajectory. We would all love better if the word love is used as a verb, rather than a noun.

 

The ask here is: could we proactively offer a new ethic for a society bereft with lovelessness– not the lack of romance, but the lack of care, compassion, unity ?

 

People are divided by our society’s failure to provide a model for learning to love.

 

Should we be razing the cultural paradigm for a new path to love that is sacred, redemptive, and healing for individuals and society?

 

Definitely so. Count me in!

 

As Katrina Mayer puts it, ” Loving yourself isn’t vanity, it is sanity “.

 

ENDS

 

 

The New Year and Resolutions, I tell you..

“What the New Year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the New Year” – Vern McLellan.

 

It is said that you may be whatever you resolve to be. Nothing relieves and ventilates the mind like a resolution.

 

As we say adios to another year and get ready to welcome another, let us take a look at some potential resolutions that we will bravely (or tamely) bring to fore.

 

I want to laugh more, the laughter that makes you cry and makes your sides ache.” Now that is worth a standing ovation.

 

My intention for 2023 is to replace mean thoughts with kind and patient ones.” Keep the applause going.

 

I stay resolved to take “everything (especially politics) and everyone less seriously and try to be the best person I can.”

 

Going further, another one can go like this..
“I resolve not to take anything personally or overthink or politicize any comments … just play dumb and not engage, like a robot, like I’m Siri.”
A more succinct one would be..
I want to be better at understanding others.” That’s a great starting point.
And a perennial one for a lot of us would be: “talk less, listen more”.
To live with gratitude and an acceptance of our mortality is a fine realization not only on New Year’s Day, but every day “.  Give this the cult status.
Will be speaking for many of us when you say, “Less screen time, more real-world time.”  
How about ” from time to time, send handwritten snail-mailed notes/letters to family and friends.” Definitely worth the ink that will be used.

 

How about some idiosyncratic resolutions? Like “I intend to eliminate very and really from my vocabulary”. That is really a very good idea. Oops. Sorry.

 

 

I heard about a resolution from a friend which was to have “someone repair the wristwatch his dad bought him for his high-school graduation in 1985, so he can wear it again.” This is truly timeless.

 

 

Here’s one with a purpose ” I would like to continue and increasingly support biodiversity in urban areas “.  Enrollments are open. Let’s go for it.
That seems a lot more complicated than my big idea of going back down one pants size, but a plan’s a plan.

 

 

Some of us are charging right at 2023 with angry-rhino determination. Keep the fire in the belly burning.

 

 

Good resolutions are like babies crying in church. They should be carried out immediately.” ― Charles M. Sheldon
So, let’s Begin Again!
ENDS

An attraction called distraction!

Your real competition is your distraction– Anonymous

 

If you are reading this, amidst your deep immersive work, you shouldn’t be. This would seem weird coming from the guy who sent you this in the first place.

 

The achilles heel of our times: Staying focused and distracted by a lot of ideas.

 

We are living through a crisis of distraction. Plans get sidetracked, friends are ignored, work never seems to get done. Why does it feel like we’re distracting our lives away?

 

Donuts taste great when we are eating them. But we feel like shit some time after. We get a bit of short-term pleasure and long-term pain.

 

The two primary motivators of changing our behavior are:

 

Avoiding pain &

 

Experiencing pleasure

 

All the attention management strategies in the world will not work unless we feel the pain and the opportunity cost of distractions.

 

If anything, the world is becoming a more distracting place. Technology is becoming more pervasive and persuasive.

 

We all suffer from the shiny object syndrome. The thrill of the chase. And the after glow.

 

Our biggest obstacle is fighting our addiction with social media and the mobile phone.

 

Wasting time online, ironically consuming content about how to be a more prolific, successful creator.

 

Digital distractions create somewhat of a paradox. We get to avoid the pain of focusing on something that matters to us. And the dopamine hits we get from checking our emails or scrolling through our Instagram | Facebook feeds. That gives us a lot of pleasure.

 

But that little boost of pleasure becomes painful when we realise that we’ve wasted time on something that prevents us from accomplishing our real goals.

 

It’s hard to change anything until our motivation is strong enough. Before we can deal with our addictions to distraction, it is important to uncover our motivations.

 

A donut called distraction.

 

ENDS

Power of Darkness: Switch Off to Switch On!

Please forgive the almost oxymoronic nature of the blog’s caption. We all think that no power leads to darkness, isn’t it?

 

The world owes a lot to Benjamin Franklin, the scientist who invented electricity. It’s human to want light and warmth. God’s first recorded words, according to the Hebrew Bible, were: “Let there be light.”

 

The night has a dark side; literally and metaphorically: ghosts, scary monsters, robbers, the unknown. Electricity’s triumph over the night keeps us safer as well as busier.

 

But whatever extends the day loses us the dark. Our always on, 24-7 culture has phased out the night, so much so that we treat the night like failed daylight.

 

Night and dark are good for us. As the nights lengthen, it’s time to reopen the dreaming space. Have you ever spent an evening without electric light? You would have noticed that when the lights are on, we are all in conformity mode. Saluting the default template, playing it safe, keeping up with the Joneses, effectively talking about our outer lives. Living the expected.

 

It’s different when we are sitting around a fire or candlelight which is when we begin to articulate our feelings. Our inner lives. We speak subjectively, argue less, there are longer pauses. Noticed? Or you could not see it in the dark?

 

To sit in isolation in darkness is curiously creative. We have our brainwaves , best ideas and Eureka moments in the dead of the night and the moment the light comes on we are thinking projects, deadlines, groceries, bills…

 

The famous “sleep on it” when we have a dilemma we can’t solve is an indication of how important dream time | darkness is to human wellbeing.

 

Food, fire, walks, talks, dreams, cold, sleep, love, slowness, time, quiet, books, seasons – all these things, which are not really things, but moments of life – take on a different quality at night-time. Creativity, like human life itself — begins in darkness.

 

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”
— Mary Oliver

 

Switch off to Switch on!

 

ENDS

Attention Piece!

It is said that attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.

 

The poet J.D. McCatchy captured this essential fact beautifully in his observation that “love is the quality of attention we pay to things.”.

 

It’s a no brainer. Before we can create anything worthy of other people’s attention, we have to learn to manage ours.

 

Our world is the outcome of what we pay attention to. Period. Attention is the currency of achievement.

 

Being present is the best present we can give ourselves. And to others. There is a curious power in being present. When we are present, we see the other person more clearly. We communicate better. We make lasting connections.

 

Unfortunately, in our always on, go-go-go world, being  with someone who is fully present and therefore offering attention is rare.

 

Good work and great art comes from deep focus and deep work. Our ability to be prolific, create art that resonates, that strikes a chord , tug at the heartstrings and hit people in the face with a crowbar depends on our ability to focus.

 

Consider for a moment the kind of mental world we can construct when we dedicate significant time and attention to deep endeavors.

 

Attention, taken to its highest degree, is the same thing as prayer,” Simone Weil observed as she considered the relationship between attention and grace at the peak of her short life. “Attention without feeling,” Mary Oliver wrote a generation later in her beautiful elegy for her soul mate, “is only a report.

 

It’s hard to carve out time and space for work or art that matters if we’re always distracted by things don’t.

 

So, how much art have you made today?

 

I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door “. Marla Gibbs

 

ENDS

Belief it (or) Knott!

In our lives, many of us favor the comfort of conviction over the discomfort of truth.

 

We listen and lean towards opinions that make us feel good rather than ideas that will make us think hard.

 

We regard disagreement as a threat to our egos, rather than an opportunity to learn.

 

We, by design, surround ourselves with people who echo and endorse our thinking and beliefs, rather than gravitating toward those who challenge and question our thought process.

 

The result is that our beliefs get brittle long before our bones do.

 

Intelligence is no cure; in fact it can even be a curse( we have heard of ” Curse of Knowledge “, haven’t we? ).

 

There’s strong evidence that being good at thinking can make us sub optimal and worse at rethinking. The brighter we are, the more blinded and limited we become to our own thinking. We short change ourselves. Constantly.

 

We don’t have to believe everything we think and internalize everything we feel.

 

Give yourselves an invitation or permission to let go of views that are no longer serving you well. In lieu of that, prize mental flexibility, humility,  and unabashed curiosity over foolish consistency.

 

There’s immense power in intentionally creating and opening the doors that accommodate you—instead of shrinking yourself in order to squeeze through whatever door happens to be there.

 

If knowledge indeed is power, then knowing what we don’t know is wisdom.

 

Once you’ve decided what you want from life, go off-menu. Ask for it. Create it.

Because the best things in life aren’t on the menu.

 

ENDS