There are two types of people in this world: Those who think ‘SMH’ means ‘So Much Happiness’ and those who know it’s the sound your soul makes when your dad comments ‘VERY NICE PIC BETA 
’on your LinkedIn post about layoffs.”
I recently was shown a Gen Z’s Instagram story that said, ‘She ate, no crumbs.’ I stared at it for 10 minutes, convinced it was either a food review or a cannibal confession. Turns out, it meant ‘She did well.’ Meanwhile, my uncle’s WhatsApp status is still ‘Good morning 
God bless 
Send to 10 people for luck.’ Evolution? More like devolution.
THE LANGUAGE OF EACH PLATFORM (AND WHY IT’S INSANE)
Instagram: Where Reality Goes to Die
Gen Z:“POV: You’re a strawberry in a vegan café” (Translation: I took a photo of my smoothie.)
– Millennials:“Living my best life! 
#Blessed”(Translation: I cried into my avocado toast today.) Here’s a Bonus- Millennial Caption:“Living authentically! (After 3 filters, 2 Facetune edits, and 1 existential crisis.)
– Boomers: Posts a sunset pic with no caption, just 
. Profound. Sorry, must add this- Boomer Comment:“Nice pic beta. When marriage?
LinkedIn: The Land of Fake Humility
-Humbled to be featured in Forbes’ ‘Top 100 People Who Paid to Be Featured in Forbes.’
-“I failed 17 times before I sold my startup for $2 billion. Here’s a vague inspirational quote to distract you from my trust fund.”
-“Took a 2-day course on breathing. Here’s how it made me a CEO.”
– ” Just had a coffee. Here’s how it taught me about scalable growth.”
– Bonus: The guy who writes “Agree?” after stating the sky is blue. Wisdom whiplashed!!
WhatsApp: The Forward(backward?) Factory
– Boomer Special:“NASA says Jupiter will align with Venus tonight and cure arthritis. Forward to family or suffer bad luck for 7 years.” (And, if you are seeking ground reality, please ask Sunita Williams).
– Millennial Adaptation:“Send this to 10 friends for good vibes! 
” (Still guilt-tripping, just with emojis.)
–Classic Forward:“DANGER! Sleeping with your phone under your pillow causes 5G cancer!!! Send to 10 family members or face bad luck for 6 lifetimes.
Twitter/X: Where Subtlety Goes to Die
Gen Z:“Me: exists Anxiety: Bestie, let’s ruin your life.”
– Corporate Twitter:“We’re sorry you found a rat in your burger. Here’s a coupon for 10% off your next rat-free meal!(And no, they don’t smell a rat!).
TikTok: The Land of Cryptic Challenges
– “POV: You’re a Victorian ghost watching me eat cereal at 3 AM.” (Why???)
– Comments Section:“She’s so me.”(No, Karen, you’re not a sentient croissant.)
Snapchat: Where Conversations Go to Get Buried
– Gen Z: Sends a blurry selfie with the caption “Ugh.”
– Millennial:”Wait, how do you use this app again?”
Some real world examples that will make us all wheeze
The LinkedIn Poet: “The clock ticks. The coffee cools. My Excel sheet stares back. #CorporateLife”(Sir, this is a Wendy’s.)
The Instagram Philosopher: “Be like water. But also like fire. But also like a rock. But also…just buy my detox tea.”
The WhatsApp Uncle: Sends a 240p video titled “SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF LORD KRISHNA’S INTERNET” with UFO clips from 1998. (KNOWstalgia Marketing anyone?).
The TikTok Therapist: “If he doesn’t appreciate your ‘quiet BPD chaotic cottage core vibe,’ he’s not your twin flame.”(Ma’am, that’s a felony.)
Gen Z invented a word called ‘rizz,’ which means ‘charisma.’ Meanwhile, my aunt’s idea of rizz is forwarding a message that says, ‘Drink warm water with lemon at 5:17 AM for eternal youth.’ Sorry, aunty, but your rizz is broken.”
Lets look at who’s winning in the Generational Warfare: TBH– no one!
–Gen Z: Texts Like:“Wdym you didn’t see my story? Are you ghosting me or just old?”
– Reality:Will cancel you for using 
instead of 
.
–Millennials: Still Using:“ TBH, IDK, I’m just here for the WiFi.”
– Also Millennials: Writes a LinkedIn post about how their cat taught them leadership.
–Boomers:
– Facebook Post:“Good morning friends! Today’s thought: Life is like a bicycle. Keep pedaling or you’ll fall. Also, don’t forget to drink warm water.”
– WhatsApp Forward:“NEVER charge your phone at night – it steals your soul AND your data!” .
-Bonus-Every message begins with “GOOD MORNING FAMILY 
“—even at 9 PM.
Some awebservations:
-Somewhere between Shakespeare and “WYD?”, humanity tripped, fell, and landed in an abyss of emojis and abbreviations.
-If aliens ever intercept our tweets, they’ll assume Earth is ruled by cats, influencers, and people who speak exclusively in “
.
-Once upon a time, “thread” was something you used to stitch clothes. Now, it’s 47 tweets about why oat milk is a scam. Sorry, just needling you!
-If Socrates had lived today, he’d be explaining philosophy on TikTok in 15 second clips, captioned “POV: You Just Got Enlightened. 
“.
-My friend’s grandmother thinks “LOL” means “Lots of Love“—which is how she once texted condolences at a funeral.
–Gen Z(The Keepers of Internet Slang & Chaos Incarnate)-always speaks in lowercase, because proper capitalization is apparently a crime.
–Gen X(The Facebook Philosophers & LinkedIn Poets)– Think Instagram filters are a government conspiracy to make people look better than they actually do.
–Millennials (The Meme Lords & Hashtag Enthusiasts)- are very fluent in GIFs. Can have entire conversations using just Michael Scott’s face. Them typing “I’m dead ” does not mean they require medical assistance.
Before I sign off, here’s an ode to The Emoji Hierarchy: 
= “We’re going viral, baby.” = “I’m laughing so hard I might actually be dead.” = “You’re cool, but I’m too lazy to type actual words.” 
= “I’m watching this drama unfold with popcorn.” 
= “I have no words, only existential dread.” = Used by Boomers to mean “God bless” and by Millennials to mean “Pls, I beg.”
Final Thoughts: Keeping Up with the Internet’s Linguistic Gymnastics
The internet has birthed a language so ridiculous, even Shakespeare would be like, “Y’all wildin‘.” But hey, if we survived “YOLO,” “bae,” and “on fleek,” we’ll make it through this era too. So whether you’re a “Good Morning WhatsApp Warrior” or a “Rizz Lord on TikTok,” one thing is certain—language isn’t dying, it’s just vibing.
PS-If you read this whole post without Googling a single slang term, you are officially cool. If not, welcome to the club. ”
Stay woke, stay vibing, and please, for the love of grammar, use a comma once in a while.
Language evolves, slang changes, but one thing remains the same—no one actually knows what ‘yeet’ means.
Disclaimer: No social media managers were harmed in the making of this blog.