Probably the blog caption runs counter to the perceived wisdom that is floating around a k a that growth and learning are Conjoined twins. And we are besieged by a culture that offers pride of place to addition– adding things to life which effectively means the default remains-once onboarded, it becomes identity, which you are not expected to edit, expand or update. There is nothing inherently wrong with adding. But if it becomes a default path to improvement, that may be failing to consider a whole class of other opportunities.
The best films are exceptional NOT because of what we see but because of what we don’t see. More reading for those who might see relevance in this can be found at https://www.sureshdinakaran.com/blog/2024/08/20/wanted-editor-in-chief-for-life-3/
It is said that half of wisdom is learning what to unlearn.
“We are what we are because we have been what we have been.” “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” “To become what one is, one must not have the faintest idea what one is.” “Self-knowledge is not knowledge but a story one tells about oneself.” These curated quotes from the likes of Sigmund Freud, Lao-Tzu, Friedrich Nietzsche & Simone De Beauvoir, in that order, beautifully summarises the strong co relation between deficiency and identity.
The deficiency=identity syndrome!
” I can never learn Spanish, I don’t have an ear for languages “.. ” Risk taking and number crunching is not my forte, I can never be an entrepreneur “. Because such thinking highlighting deficiencies is highly robust and powerfully self-reinforcing, they begin to become our identity.
And because the belief is so deep rooted, you will do everything in your power to come in your own way and not learn and fail at learning the new language or embark on the journey of being a business person. Such self-sabotage acts as a virtual loop going back to strengthen the original belief. Time to realise that ‘ the obstacle is the way ‘.
The caveat here is that unlearning is not a walk in the park. Having a guide or a coach as a partner in rhyme who will help you wear a new lens and hoover out what has rigidly domiciled in the recesses of your mind will be handy.