It is tempting. And not unnatural to be doing so. In our privileged roles as parents, mentors, coaches, counsellors, captains etc, we have the opportunity to be courageous, generous, mindful and progressive. The person at the other end values you for what you can bring to the equation that takes her forward on the journey to better. And if you are expecting that you get to hear what you hope to hear as against what you need to hear, you are on the wrong train.
Your lawyer has to tell you where you are headed with your case based on ground reality and not driven by simply appeasing you. Your chartered accountant may tell you that your books of accounts are in shambles and they need to be fixed on the double. What you need to hear from your counsellor at high school is the right University to apply to based on your aptitude, goals, test scores and past performance and not build castles in the air. Imagine your doctor sugar coating his diagnosis in an effort to keep you away from anxiety and the real need of the hour.
The givers of this ” what you need to hear ” are playing their part responsibly. And in a lot of cases, it goes unappreciated. But, for them, the quest is for meaningful connection, to care enough and to make things better.
When you offer the ” what she needs to hear ” drill, you are potentially passing the baton and the accompanying energy to another person or cause bringing about a knock-on effect.
So, what are you saying that needs to be heard?
ENDS