Suresh Dinakaran's Blog

 

April Fools’ Day: The One Day You Can Gaslight the Entire Planet & Get Away With It.

 

Listen up. April 1st isn’t just a day—it’s a lifestyle. A 24-hour free pass to weaponize absurdity, humiliate your friends, and blame it all on “tradition.” Think of it as societal permission to be a glorified menace. And honestly? We deserve it. After 364 days of pretending to adult, we’ve earned this chaos.

 

But before you go full Loki( no low key affair this) on your unsuspecting coworkers (looking at you, Karen in HR), let’s dig into the gloriously dumb roots of this global clown fiesta.

 

Because The Truth is Overrated- Every year, on April 1st, the world decides to embrace its inner con artist, and somehow, we all play along. Banks don’t suddenly start waiving fees, your boss doesn’t actually want to double your salary, and no, Mark Zuckerberg hasn’t finally decided to pay us all for the personal data he’s been mining since 2004. But for one glorious day, reality takes a back seat, and the world becomes a masterclass in deception.

 

Some folklore we can look at to understand the bizarre origins to celebrate calculated deception. 

 

Nobody knows exactly how April Fools’ began, which is ironically the perfect origin story for a holiday dedicated to confusion. Some historians trace it back to 16th century France when the calendar shifted from celebrating New Year’s at the end of March to January 1st. Those poor souls who missed the memo and continued partying in spring became the original “April Fools.”

 

Others claim it stems from Mother Nature‘s own practical joke – spring weather that flip-flops more dramatically than politicians during election season. One minute you’re sunbathing, the next you’re building an emergency ark.

 

Other historians blame it on the Romans and their festival of Hilaria(yes, that’s literally where we get “hilarious“), a day of masquerades and mockery. Leave it to the Romans to formalize being assholes once a year – the same civilization that considered throwing people to lions prime entertainment.

 

The British claim it stems from Geoffrey Chaucer‘s “Canterbury Tales” reference to “32nd March” (which doesn’t exist). Classic British humor –so dry it makes the Sahara look like a water park.

 

My personal theory? April Fools’ is Mother Nature’s way of trolling us with spring weather that changes faster than a teenager’s Instagram profile picture. “Here’s sunshine! Psych! Have some hail, suckers!”

 

Anyway, we’ve embraced this tradition with disturbing enthusiasm. What does it say about humanity that we’ve collectively agreed on a day to traumatize our loved ones? Freud would have a field day with this!

 

Before we get onward, lets look at some Hall of Fame Pranks( read as How To Traumatise With Style)-

 

-In 1957, the BBC – that bastion of stiff-upper-lip journalism – aired footage of Swiss farmers harvesting spaghetti from trees. Hundreds of viewers called asking how to grow their own pasta trees. This wasn’t just pre-internet gullibility; this was a masterclass in how even posh British accents can make absolute bollocks sound credible.

 

–Burger King‘s 1998 “Left-Handed Whopper” ad claimed they’d redesigned their signature burger for southpaws with ingredients rotated 180 degrees. Thousands of customers specifically requested it, proving that humanity’s stupidity is the only truly renewable resource we can depend on.

 

–Sports Illustrated‘s 1985 article about Sidd Finch, a fictional pitcher who could throw 168 mph (and learned his skill in a Tibetan monastery, naturally) had MLB teams actually worried. The first letters of the article’s subheading spelled “H-A-P-P-Y A-P-R-I-L F-O-O-L-S,” but apparently baseball executives don’t read that carefully. Shocking.

 

–Sweden – land of IKEA, ABBA, and apparently world-class trolling – pulled the ultimate prank in 1962 when their sole TV channel announced viewers could convert black-and-white broadcasts to color by stretching nylon stockings across their screens. Thousands of ordinarily sensible Swedes sat there like idiots staring at pantyhose-covered TVs. If you think fake news is a modern problem, think again.

 

Today’s April Fools’ pranks have evolved from whoopee cushions to elaborate psychological warfare. Major corporations now allocate actual marketing budgets to create fake products so convincing they trigger existential crises.

 

Remember Google’s “Google Nose” that supposedly let you search by smell? Or Toshiba’s “DiGiT” – a finger stylus for touchscreens (literally just your unwashed finger with a fancy name)? How about Rent-A-Chicken delivery service? The terrifying part is how many people responded with, “Finally! This is what I’ve been waiting for!”

 

Social media has transformed April 1st into the Olympics of anxiety. Is your cousin actually pregnant or just desperate for engagement metrics? Is your friend really moving to Bali to become a spiritual guru, or is it the same person who gets lost driving to Target? That engagement announcement? Check the date before sending that $200 blender.

 

And let’s talk office pranks – that special category of tomfoolery where career suicide meets fleeting glory. Nicholas from accounting thought it was hilarious to plastic-wrap the toilet seat until the CEO had an “incident.” The desk covered in Post-its was cute until the victim had an allergic reaction to the adhesive. And whoever keeps putting googly eyes on everything in the break room – we know it’s you, Prabhat from marketing, and yes, putting them on the HR director’s family photos crossed a line.

 

The Psychology of the Sociopaths We Call Friends-What drives someone to spend three hours filling their roommate’s deodorant with cream cheese? The same brain chemistry that, in medieval times, would have made them the court jester – essential for morale but kept at a safe distance from sharp objects.

 

There’s a fascinating psychological spectrum: at one end, the good-natured trickster whose pranks prompt genuine laughter; at the other, that friend who thinks changing your autocorrect to replace “yes” with “I worship Satan” is peak comedy. This friend is also suspiciously single.

 

Studies show (I made this up, but it feels right) that the best pranksters understand the golden rule: temporary confusion, not lasting therapy. A great April Fools’ joke should leave the victim momentarily questioning reality, then laughing – not updating their will to exclude you.

 

In this era where “fake news” is screamed louder than “fire” in a crowded theater, there’s something refreshingly honest about April Fools’ Day. It’s the one day when deception comes with a disclaimer and an expiration date. We’re collectively saying: “For 24 hours, critical thinking is optional!” It’s like The Purge, but for truth. A day when otherwise intelligent humans can be convinced that Australia is transitioning to driving on the right side of the road “gradually over the next two weeks” (an actual successful prank that had people wondering how exactly that would work).

 

The best pranks? They hold up a mirror to society’s idiocy. Like when The Guardian “announced” they were switching to a print-only edition for luddites. Or when Elon Musk tweeted Tesla was bankrupt. (Wait, that last one might’ve just been poor life choices.) Here’s the twist: The best pranks reveal truths. Like Burger King’s “Left-Handed Whopper” (which was a real 1998 stunt) exposed how suggestible we are. Or when Netflix launched “Netflix Live“—a fake livestream of a guy knitting—reminding us that yes, we’ll watch anything to avoid small talk.

 

April Fools’ Day is society’s pressure valve—a 24-hour pass to laugh at others without (much) guilt. So this April 1st, whether you’re swapping sugar for salt or convincing your roommate that WiFi is now pay-per-sneeze, remember: The line between genius and jerk is thin. Cross it with flair.
And if you get pranked? Congrats—you’re part of a 500-year-old tradition of glorious gullibility.

 

April Fools’ reminds us that in a world where we take ourselves far too seriously, sometimes the most sophisticated, tech-savvy humans can still be convinced that NASA discovered a planet made entirely of marijuana. And maybe that shared gullibility is what truly connects us all – more than religion, politics, or our collective hatred of reply-all emails.

 

Caveat Emptor: Fooling has become a business model, and so now, every day is April Fool’s day. So, Act wisely.

 

Well, thats my fool and final on this!

 

I am still to come to terms with the fact that why does a batsman who is out for a first ball duck (that too clean bowled) has to look at the scorecard 18 times before he traverses the 70 0dd metres( oops make it 50 in these days of ‘diet cricket grounds‘) back to the pavilion. Is he hoping for some miraculous divine intervention where the scorecard will reflect 42 against his name and retired hurt as a suffix?

 

Or the on field umpire’s geometry skills being put to the test when signaling to the third umpire for a decision. Unsure whether the TV set is a rectangle or a square, he leaves it halfway through, leaving it for someone else to figure out the last mile.

 

And then there is this Mr Noddy( sorry Enid Blyton)- the batsman who keeps nodding his head( putting our Malayalee friend from Kottayam to shame) on getting out literally virtue signaling and telling ” how can this happen to me- I have been growing in leaps and bounds averaging 15.76, 16.24 and 17.12 respectively in the last three English County Championships with an average strike rate of 67.6.

 

And while we all love the game for its glorious uncertainties, let’s call cricket what it really is – legalized public insanity with statistics.

 

Cricket is a funny game. No, seriously. It’s a cocktail of Shakespearean drama, WWE-style theatrics, Bollywood-level melodrama, and a splash of reality TV absurdity. It’s got everything—grown men appealing like desperate salesmen, umpires who sometimes seem to be auditioning for mime school, and commentators who can make even a dot ball sound like an intergalactic event( apart from telling us incessantly that during Power Play only two fielders are allowed outside the 30 yard circle- any more of such verbal diarrhea and he should be taken to task for insider trading).

 

It’s the only sport where players religiously polish their balls in full view of families while commentators discuss the technique with scholarly reverence. “Excellent shine on that one, Geoffrey!” Yes, we’ve normalized grown men vigorously rubbing their crotches on live television.

 

Cricket remains the beautiful lunatic of sports – a game where rain stops play but standing in 47-degree Delhi heat is perfectly acceptable. Where the English invented it but haven’t won a proper World Cup until they needed a boundary countback rule so byzantine it was immediately abolished. Where Shane Warne could be simultaneously a tactical genius and someone who thought baked beans were an exotic food. It’s a game where Inzamam-ul-Haq  got out “hit wicket” trying to jump away from a wasp. Where Andrew Symonds tackled a naked streaker like he was playing NFL. Where Suraj Randiv deliberately bowled a no-ball to prevent Virender Sehwag reaching a century – the pettiness here is Olympic-level!

 

Cricket is the only game where a duck doesn’t quack, a maiden is not a damsel in distress, and a nightwatchman isn’t guarding a castle but rather your team’s fragile ego.

 

So the next time you watch 22 millionaires spending days chasing a leather orb around a field while wearing enough protective equipment to survive a nuclear winter, remember: this isn’t just a sport. It’s humanity’s most elaborate practical joke – and we’re all gloriously, ridiculously complicit.

 

All formats of the game come with their consistent set of absurdity. Here goes:

 

Test Cricket: Where Time Goes to Die (And So Does Your Social Life)

– A format so slow, even the pigeons on the field start judging the batters. “Just hit it, mate, my grandkids will be here by the time you score.” Try telling that to Andrew Hilditch!

– Bowlers sending down 145 km/h thunderbolts only for the batter to leave it like it’s a bad Tinder message. “Nah, not today, Satan.”

– The “spirit of cricket“debate, which is just code for “I’m mad but pretending to be classy about it.” (Looking at you, “Mankad” stans.)

– Fielders at silly point who either look like fearless warriors or hostages. No in-between.

-Test cricket – that magnificent five-day exercise in delayed gratification – is basically Stockholm Syndrome disguised as sport. We watch fielders standing motionless for so long they become part of the landscape. In what other professional sport could an athlete eat a sandwich, take a nap, finish a novel, and still be considered “actively participating”?

 

The real comedy is how we describe Test cricket’s tedium as “chess-like strategy” when it’s really just 22 men in white pajamas engaged in elaborate performance art. England once scored 33 runs in an entire session. That’s not sport – that’s horticultural observation with occasional applause!

 

One-Day Internationals: The ‘Diet Coke’ of Cricket

 

-One-day cricket arrived like the unwanted middle child – too flashy for traditionalists, too boring for the YouTube generation. Remember when 250 was a good score? Now bowlers look like they’ve witnessed their own funeral when conceding less than 300. It’s the cricket equivalent of cargo shorts – nobody loves it, but it’s stubbornly refusing to go away.

– The middle overs, where the only excitement is the cameraman zooming in on a spectator picking their nose.

– Batters who turn into tortoises after power plays. “Oh, we’re at 100 in 15 overs? Time to gently caress the ball to midwicket for the next 20.”

– Bowlers getting absolutely obliterated for six sixes in an over, then pretending it was part of the plan. “Yeah, I was just lulling them into a false sense of security.”

 

T20(Because Test cricket was too busy ironing its whites): Cricket on Crack

– T20 crashed the party – cricket’s cocaine-fueled fever dream where everything is LOUDER, FASTER, and ACCOMPANIED BY FLAMES! Suddenly batsmen swing like they’re trying to kill mosquitoes with sledgehammers. Chris Gayle became a deity for essentially playing baseball with a plank. Bowlers now need therapists on standby as their carefully crafted deliveries disappear into orbit, while captains make field placements that resemble elaborate modern art installations.

– Batters swinging like they’re in a nightclub at 3 AM and the ball is their ex’s text.

– Bowlers getting smacked for 30 in an over and still giving the “I’m the main character”stare.

– Fielders attempting “superman dives” and ending up as meme material. “Congratulations, you saved one run… at the cost of your dignity.”

– Strategic timeouts where the coach says “Just hit the ball, bro ” like it’s profound wisdom.

 

No game would be complete without its set of on field and off field theatrics:-

 

On-Field Drama:

– Players appealing like they’ve just seen a ghost when the ball clearly missed the bat by a mile. Umpires giving the “I’m not paid enough for this”look in return.

– The “elite honesty” of walking off before the umpire’s decision—rare, but when it happens, the cricketing world acts like they’ve witnessed a unicorn tap-dancing.

– Fielders “accidentally” kicking the ball over the boundary (oops, my foot slipped!) or “celebrating” a wicket before realizing the bowler overstepped by a kilometer.

 

Off-Field Circus:

– Crowds losing their minds over a six like it’s the second coming, while the guy in the stands with a giant foam finger somehow becomes the TV star.  Not to mention the ‘highly knowledgable audience‘ who goes berserk clapping and screaming only to realise that the batsman who has got out is from the team she has supposedly come to support.

– Social media experts who’ve never held a bat diagnosing a player’s technique based on a 10-second clip. “His backlift is 2.7 degrees off, he’s finished!” Social media has turned every match into digital gladiatorial combat. Remember when Ravi Shastri’s “TRACER BULLET” comment became a meme faster than Usain Bolt? Or when Jimmy Neesham‘s Twitter account became more entertaining than actual New Zealand matches?

– Broadcasters milking drama with ultra-HD slow-mos of a bowler’s nostril flare like it’s a National Geographic documentary. Yes, the same guys who have turned cricket into a soap opera with Ultra-slow-mo close-ups of sweat dripping off a bowler’s brow like it’s The Godfather.  Television has transformed cricket into soft-core sports pornography. Ultra-HD slow-motion captures every bead of sweat, nostril flare, and wayward butt-scratch in magnificent detail. Stump mics have revealed that international cricketers have the vocabulary range of drunken sailors. Ball-tracking technology proves what fans have known forever – umpires need glasses.

 

-The Commentary gems: “He’s hit that into the next postcode!”(Wow, geography lesson!) and last but not the least the Mandatory cut to the “worried girlfriend in the stands”cam after a player gets out. “Yes, Karen, he failed. Now let’s watch you fail to pretend you care.”

 

– The IPL auction – cricket’s bizarre human cattle market where millionaires bid for humans while commentators discuss their “utility” like they’re buying kitchen appliances. “He’s a useful lower-order batsman with adequate fielding skills, starting bid 2 crore rupees!” Somewhere, Karl Marx is spinning in his grave.

 

-Remember when Shahid Afridi retired approximately 17 times, each comeback more dramatic than the last? Or when David Warner made TikTok videos dancing to Bollywood songs during COVID lockdown? Cricket creates more bizarre character arcs than Game of Thrones.

 

-One of the biggest Characters of Our Tragicomedy are without doubt the Umpires– those white or black-coated dictators –who have evolved from respected arbiters to reluctant technology operators. Poor Billy Bowden, with his crooked finger signals that made him look like he was simultaneously having a seizure and directing traffic. Then there’s the DRS – cricket’s way of saying “We have technology, but we’d still prefer arguments.” DRS (Decision Review System) –when the moment a player goes for a review, it’s like watching a contestant on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire—hands on hips, intense stare at the screen, hoping for the ‘UltraEdge’ to reveal some cosmic conspiracy in their favor. Remember when Steve Bucknor would take approximately 17 years to raise his finger while batsmen aged visibly? Or Kumar Dharmasena’s iconic 2019 World Cup final overthrow decision that had New Zealanders contemplating formal war with the ICC?

 

Cricket is the greatest unintentional comedy show on earth. It’s got everything—heroes, villains, tragic collapses, and at least one guy who somehow trips over his own feet on live TV. Whether it’s Test cricket’s “I’m not dead, I’m resting”energy or T20’s “hold my protein shake”chaos, the game never fails to remind us that life is meaningless and we’re all just here to overreact.

 

Cricket is a game where a batsman can get out because his shoelace was untied, a bowler can take a wicket with a ball that bounced twice, and a fielder can drop the easiest catch but take a blind screamer the very next ball.

 

It’s a sport where a third umpire takes 67 angles and five minutes to decide something we all saw in real-time. A game where fans fight over GOAT debates like they’re defending their family’s honor. And, most importantly, a game where rain can play a bigger role than the players.

 

Funny game, cricket. And that’s why we love it. Calling it stumps now!

 

Let me confess something. I once tried to impress a client by pitching a campaign idea so convoluted it could’ve been a Christopher Nolan movie plot. The client stared at me like I’d suggested replacing their logo with Comic Sans. Lesson learned: Avoid overcomplicating things unless you’re writing Oscar-worthy scripts.

 

On another occasion, I almost hired someone based solely on their LinkedIn profile photo (they had great lighting you see). Turns out, they couldn’t spell “marketing” without autocorrect. Dodged that bullet—and learned that flashy doesn’t equal functional.

 

So, ATTENTION, A LOT OF US WALKING DISASTER MAGNETS!- This isn’t our grandpa’s success manual. This is a war cry against spectacular, self-inflicted professional suicide. Success isn’t about what you achieve. It’s about the EPIC CATASTROPHES you assassinate before they assassinate you.

 

When Success is Just Failure Dodged Right- There are two types of smart people in the world:

 

– The ones who succeed because they do things brilliantly.

–The ones who succeed because they don’t screw up catastrophically.

 

The second category is far larger.

 

–Warren Buffett? His investing philosophy is basically “Don’t be an idiot with your money.” He says NO harder than a bouncer at an exclusive club. His “investment strategy “= 99% tactical rejection. His wealth has been built on the corpses of terrible ideas. The pundits call him ” The Risk Assassin “.

–Jeff Bezos? Built Amazon by obsessing over “what could kill us?”- He watched retail giants self-immolate-Grew Amazon while dinosaurs were dying-Turned “waiting” into a martial art of business domination. Little wonder he is called the ” The Dark Lord Of Strategic Patience“.

–Tim Cook? Avoided Jobs-era over extensions and turned Apple into a trillion-dollar ATM.

 

Turns out, playing good defense is a strategy.

 

The other side of it, let us look at a Corporate Faceplant That Could’ve Been Avoided (But Ego Got in the Way)

 

– WeWork: From $47B to “WeBroke” in 6 Weeks: Adam Neumann’s “elevate the world’s consciousness”schtick was just a fancy way of saying “we lease offices and do keg stands.”Lesson:When your CEO starts talking like a cult leader, update your resume.

 

The #1 Rule of Winning? Don’t Be the Idiot Who Loses. Let’s be honest—most winners aren’t brilliant; they’re just better at dodging disaster.

 

–Billionaires? Mostly people who didn’t throw money at shiny garbage.

–Legendary CEOs? Folks who didn’t burn their companies down with bad decisions.

–Survivors? The ones who didn’t text their ex after three tequilas.

 

Success isn’t some magical formula. It’s just a long streak of avoiding faceplants.

 

If you want to win, the first step would be to stop tripping over your own ego.

 

Remember when everyone was jumping into crypto like it was the last lifeboat on the Titanic? I sat out. While many were trading digital air and calling themselves “blockchain entrepreneurs”, the smarter ones kept their money in decidedly boring investments.

 

Result? While they’re now selling NFTs of their tears, the smarter ones are sipping a cold one, watching their portfolio do a steady, unsexy waltz of consistent growth.

 

Sunk cost is the stupidest reason to continue anything. The cognitive firewall strategy would take into account some of the following I reckon:-

 

-Our brain is a risk management machine

-Most success is preventing stupid moves

-Strategic non-action is an action

-Saying NO is a superpower

 

 

So, how do we engage in the Psychological Warfare of Failure Prevention?

 

Our brain’s tactical defense manual outlines the following-Impulsivity is for amateurs, Strategic hesitation is our weapon and our “gut feeling” is often just indigestion dressed as inspiration.

 

Some Failure Dodging Tactical Protocols would include-24-Hour Catastrophe Quarantine when every major decision goes into psychological isolation for 24 hours. That kills potential stupidity with surgical precision. Not just that, your future self will send a thank you card.

 

The Zero-Based Commitment Warfare- where nothing is sacred and where everything gets ruthlessly re-evaluated. Lets understand this-Mercy is for the weak. Cut. Everything. Loose.

 

Murphy’s Law Combat Training where we assume everything WILL go wrong- we build backup plans for our backup plans and recognise that Paranoia isn’t a disorder. It’s a survival strategy.

 

Success = Avoiding Your Own Downfall– Most billion-dollar ideas started with a simple question: “What is everyone else doing wrong, and how do we not do that?”

–Airbnb avoided the property-heavy model of hotels.

–Tesla avoided the “let’s make boring electric cars” mistake.

–Netflix avoided late fees, physical rentals, and… becoming Blockbuster.

 

The best path to winning is often not losing in the first place.

 

Beware of Shiny Objects:Just because crypto bros are yelling “TO THE MOON!”doesn’t mean you should mortgage your house for Dogecoin.

 

You’re not here to be a motivational poster. You’re here to systematically eliminate every potential path to professional extinction. Success is a graveyard of bullets you didn’t take. In one sense, we can say that Strategic Cowardice can be Your Unexpected Superpower. Where we are Winning by Weaponizing Non-Participation.

 

Let’s be real—success isn’t just about the trophies on your shelf. It’s about the landmines you didn’t step on, the dumpster fires you didn’t ignite, and the career-ending emails you didn’t send at 2 AM after three tequilas.
Most success gurus will sell you a shiny dream: “Hustle harder! Wake up at 4 AM! Drink kale smoothies!”But here’s the dirty little secret—avoiding stupidity is often smarter than striving for brilliance. Think of it like dating. You don’t win by being the smoothest Romeo in town. You win by not drunkenly texting your ex, “U up?” at midnight.

 

Let’s cut the inspirational BS—success isn’t about vision boards, hustle porn, or chanting affirmations in a mirror like a deranged Tony Robbins acolyte.  It’s about the disasters you didn’t create. The emails you didn’t CC the entire company on. The startups you didn’t join before they imploded in a cloud of VC-funded confetti.

Think of it this way: Life is a minefield, and winners are just the ones who didn’t faceplant on live TV.  The best ROI comes from the failures you never had.

 

Success isn’t about being the smartest. It’s about not being the dumbass who thought Theranos was a good idea. Now go forth, dodge stupidity like it’s your ex’s Venmo request, and let success stalk you for once.

 

STOP. EVERYTHING. YOU. KNOW.

 

Picture this: You’re the rockstar of your industry, the ultimate know-it-all, the person everyone calls for wisdom – and BAM! You’re about to become your own professional coffin. Welcome to the most electrifying suicide note for your career you’ll ever read.

 

Listen up, all the magnificent corporate gladiators and entrepreneurial unicorns! What if you were told that the very rocket fuel of your success is actually a stealth missile aimed directly at your professional innovation? Welcome to the most delicious irony of human achievement.

 

Your greatest competitor isn’t external. It’s the person you were yesterday, protected by the false armor of expertise.

 

Ever met that know-it-all uncle at family gatherings who still thinks ‘Ctrl+Alt+Delete’ is a secret government code? Yeah, expertise has an expiry date. And success? Well, ask Kodak how their ‘winning formula’ worked out when the world decided to go digital.

Welcome to the paradox of modern achievement—where what got you here might just be the very thing that keeps you from getting there.

 

The Psychological Warfare of Success- Why Your Brain is Your Biggest Backstabber

 

Confirmation Bias Bootcamp

-Your brain is a narcissistic toddler

-Loves being right more than being EFFECTIVE

-Past success = Mental handcuffs

 

The Dunning-Kruger Disaster

-More expertise = Louder confidence

-More confidence = Massive blind spots

-You’re not a genius. You’re a walking risk management nightmare

 

Blockbuster knew rentals. Kodak knew film. Nokia knew durability. And now we know… knowing isn’t enough.

 

The Curse of the Expert: When Knowing Too Much Makes Us Dumb

 

Expertise is like cholesterol—there’s a good kind and a bad kind. The good kind keeps you sharp; the bad kind clogs your ability to adapt.  Let’s take a look back at BlackBerry’s Keyboard Obsession:They were the kings of corporate communication. Then Apple asked, “What if phones didn’t need keyboards?” BlackBerry’s response? “But… but… professionals love our keyboards! Turns out, professionals also love not being stuck in 2007. Remember Nokia’s ‘indestructible’ phones? Yeah, they were so busy perfecting brick durability, they forgot people might want a smart brick. Meanwhile, Reliance Jio waltzed in and said, “Data is the new oxygen,” leaving telecom dinosaurs gasping for relevance.

“The problem with expertise is that it whispers, ‘You’ve arrived,’ while the world is busy moving to the next station.”

Success: The Comfortable Straitjacket: Success is a sneaky little devil. It gives you a throne, then slowly turns it into a cage.

 

Yahoo’s Identity Crisis: They could’ve bought Google. They could’ve bought Facebook. Instead, they bought…Tumblr? When you’re too busy being successful, you forget to stay successful.Or in the Indian context, Kingfisher Airlines—once the ‘king of good times,’ until it realized that good times don’t pay fuel bills. Meanwhile, IndiGo stuck to the boring, profitable strategy of actually flying planes on time and somehow… won.

 

Remember Micromax—once the “Indian iPhone killer,”until they realized killing iPhones requires more than just cheap knockoffs and patriotic billboards. Meanwhile, OnePlus waltzed in with actual quality and Micromax is now just a “Hey, remember when…?” story.

 

Success is like a vintage wine—great in small doses, but if you chug the whole bottle, you’ll wake up with a hangover and regret.

 

Breaking Free: How to Avoid Becoming a Footnote in Your Own Story

 

So, how do you dodge the double whammy of expertise-blindness and success-complacency?

 

Stay Paranoid (Like Amazon): Jeff Bezos’ famous mantra—”It’s always Day 1.” The moment you think you’ve ‘made it,’ it’s already Day 2—and that’s the beginning of the end.

 

Unlearn to Relearn (Like Microsoft): Satya Nadella took a company known for “Windows or bust”and turned it into a cloud powerhouse by embracing open-source. Who saw that coming? Certainly not 2010 Microsoft.

 

Embrace the Beginner’s Mind (Like Indian Startups): Zomato started as a restaurant listing site. Paytm was just a mobile recharge platform. Today? They’re everything. Because they refused to let past success define future potential.  

 

The only thing worse than failing is succeeding so hard that you forget how to try.

 

So what is the Provocation Toolkit we need: here are a few Weapons of Mass Re-Invention:-

 

– Radical Curiosity Protocol

We treat expertise as a TEMPORARY hypothesis

Be professionally promiscuous with knowledge

 

–The Mindf*ck Method

Hire rebels, weirdos, and professional troublemakers

Give them nuclear codes to your comfort zone

 

–Perpetual Beta Mentality

No strategy is sacred

Experiment like your career depends on it (BECAUSE IT DOES)

Expertise and success are like parachutes—they work brilliantly until you need to change direction. Then suddenly, you realize you’ve been wearing a backpack. What got you here won’t get you there. Unless ‘there’ is irrelevance.  Success is a great teacher… until it becomes the only thing you listen to. Expertise is like a vintage car—cool to show off, but don’t expect it to win a race today.

 

The problem with being the best? The world keeps changing what ‘best’ means.

So, re-inforcing what we have spoken about all along: Expertise is just institutionalized myopia. The moment you say ‘This is how it’s done,’ the universe starts drafting your obsolescence notice. Success is the World’s Most Expensive Comfort Zone. Success doesn’t just spoil you—it wraps you in a deluxe delusion blanket, whispering “You’ve earned this complacency, king. When in doubt, throw spaghetti at the wall—some of it will stick.  Because, the only thing worse than failing is succeeding so hard you fossilize.

 

Take note that the world has ADHD. Your expertise is useful only until the world changes its mind. Your success is a lousy bodyguard—it won’t protect you from the future. Success sedates you. You stop experimenting because you fear looking like an amateur again.

 

 

Unlearning is the New Superpower– So, here’s your homework: Take a long, hard look at your expertise. Now ask yourself—”Is this my superpower or my straitjacket?” Because history proves one thing: The moment you start believing you’re the smartest person in the room, congratulations—you’ve officially become the dumbest.

 

 

 

While caring is a collective responsibility, it all begins with oneself. After all, charity begins at home.

 

Let’s be honest: Nobody cares.

Your LinkedIn post about “synergy“? Ignored.

Your 37th selfie of the week? Scrolled past.

Your deeply personal tweet about your gluten-free, artisanal toast? Lost in the void.

The internet is a graveyard of unpaid attention, and the real world isn’t much better. But here’s the good news:The moment you stop screaming into the abyss and start asking “Who actually cares?”—you become dangerous.

 

Who Cares?- The World’s Most Important(And Most Ignored) Question

“Who cares?”

It’s a question that gets thrown around like confetti at a wedding. Sometimes with genuine curiosity. Mostly with apathy.

 

A starving child? “Who cares?”
A dying language? “Who cares?”
A planet running out of breath? “Who cares?”
Your friend’s new business? “Who cares?”
Your own health? “Who cares?”

 

And yet, every great movement, every legendary brand, every life well-lived has one thing in common: Somebody cared. Deeply. Obsessively. Unapologetically.

 

Success is rented. Significance is owned. The price? Caring.

 

The Ripple Effect of Caring

When you care, magic happens. A simple act of kindness can set off a chain reaction that transforms lives:

-A teacher who stays after school to help a struggling student may be nurturing the next great innovator.

-A neighbor who checks in on an elderly couple could be preventing a tragedy and fostering community bonds.

-A volunteer at a local shelter might be providing the hope that keeps someone going for one more day.

 

These aren’t just good deeds; they’re the building blocks of a better society. They remind us that we’re all interconnected, that our actions matter, and that we have the power to make a difference.

 

The Power of “Who Cares?” (And Why Most Of Us Get It Wrong)  

Most of us spend lives like overeager Golden Retrievers—dropping our “Look at me!” tennis balls at everyone’s feet, hoping for a throw. Impact-makers? They’re more like snipers. They ask:

“Who is in real pain right now?”

“What problem is so annoying people would Venmo me to fix it?”

“Who would notice—and miss me—if I stopped showing up?”

 

The Brutal (But Funny) Truth About “Caring” in 2025

Let’s diagnose modern “care“:

– Social media activism:Changing your profile picture to a flag. (Wow. The war is over. Thank you.)

– Corporate DEI statements:”We stand with [marginalized group]!” (…Unless it hurts profits. Then we stand nearby.)

– Self-help gurus:”You too can be rich!” (If you buy my course on being rich.)

Real care is inconvenient.It’s:

– The nurse working a double shift because her patient has no family.

– The stranger who returns your lost wallet with the cash still inside.

– The small business owner who remembers your name and your weird order. (“Large coffee, extra shot, no joy—got it.”)

 

The Power of “Who Cares?”

Most of us spend our lives chasing validation—posting, pitching, and pleading for attention. But the ones who leave a mark? They don’t ask, “How do I get noticed?”They ask:

“Who truly needs what I have to offer?”

“Whose life could change if I showed up differently?”

“What problem is urgent enough that people would miss me if I stopped solving it?

 

Mother Teresa didn’t just “help the poor.” She asked, “Who is suffering so deeply that even the smallest act of love would matter?”Then she went to the gutters of Calcutta and held the hands of the dying when no one else would.

 

Chadwick Boseman didn’t just “act.” He asked, “Who needs to see a hero who looks like them?”Then he poured his final years into Black Panther while quietly battling cancer.

 

The Witty Truth: Most “Caring” is Performance(unfortunately)

Let’s be real—a lot of “care” is just virtue signaling.

– Posting a black square on Instagram? Easy.
– Donating anonymously to a struggling single mom? Harder.
– Showing up when it’s inconvenient? Rare.

The internet is full of people who say they care. The world is desperate for those who prove it.

 

The Neurological Mathematics of Compassion

 

-Caring rewires your brain’s empathy circuits

-Increases emotional intelligence

-Creates sustainable motivation beyond personal gain

-Generates complex problem-solving capabilities

 

In a world drowning in digital noise and performative empathy, “Who cares?” isn’t a dismissive question—it’s your most powerful weapon of transformation.

Local Heroes of Extraordinary Compassion

Maggie Doyne- Empowering Girls in Nepal

 

-Traveled to Nepal at 19 with her life savings ($5,000)

-Founded Blink Now Foundation

-Built a children’s home and school for orphaned and vulnerable children

-Has supported over 400 children’s education

-Adopted 54 children and created a sustainable community model

– Transformed individual caring into systemic change

 

Jose Andres- Culinary Humanitarian

 

-Founded World Central Kitchen

-Provided over 75 million meals in disaster zones

-Faster emergency response than many government agencies

-Responded to:

-Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico (2017)

-California wildfires

-COVID-19 pandemic

-Ukraine refugee crisis

-Proved that compassion has operational efficiency

 

Corporate Care Revolution

Patagonia’s Radical Environmental Commitment

-Donates 1% of sales to environmental causes

-Launched “Worn Wear” program – repairing and recycling clothing

–CEO Yvon Chouinard transferred company ownership to a trust fighting climate change

-Proved that business can prioritize planet over pure profit

 

Technology-Enabled Compassion

 

Dr Zubaida Bai– Medtech for Women

 

-Developed affordable, sterilized birthing kits

-Reduced maternal mortality in developing countries

-Created economic opportunities for local women

-Transformed medical care through design thinking and genuine empathy

 

Khan Academy- Free Global Education

 

–Sal Khan started tutoring his cousin online

-Now provides free world-class education to millions

-Broke geographical and economic barriers to learning

-Demonstrates how individual care can scale globally

 

Compassion is The Most Sophisticated Form of Rebellion and Empathy is Your Unfair Advantage in a Disconnected World

 

The call to action therefore is “Care when it’s hard”. Anyone can post a heart emoji. Few will show up at 3 AM. Stop casting a wide net. Be the person who matters to someone, not the person who’s vaguely known by everyone.

 

The world doesn’t need more noise. It needs more people who ask: “Who needs me to shut up and do something?”

 

People think caring is emotional. That it’s weak. That it slows you down. Rubbish.

 

Caring is an accelerant.
Caring is a differentiator.
Caring is what turns an ordinary effort into an extraordinary impact.

 

Caring isn’t just a warm fuzzy feeling. It’s an insurance policy against irrelevance.

 

Consider this: If apathy were an Olympic sport, would you be going for gold? No? Then congratulations, you’re already winning at caring! Remember, in a world where you can be anything, be someone who cares. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about who has the most toys, but who has touched the most lives.

 

In the words of Dame Cicely Saunders, “You matter because you are you, and you matter to the last moment of your life.”So go forth and care fiercely. The world is waiting for your impact.

 

 

Imagine your brain as a casino, and big tech as the house – always winning, always designing the next irresistible jackpot of digital dopamine. Welcome to Limbic Capitalism ( as historian David Courtright termed it), or the Dopamine Economy, where your most primitive impulses are being monetized in real-time.

 

Limbic Capitalism’s Dirty Secret: ” Your Pleasure Is Their Product, Your Pain Is Their Profit”.  From Likes to Lab Rats: We’re All Willing Participants in the Dopamine Economy .

 

You know that Pavlovian ping when your phone lights up? That’s not a notification—it’s a neurological slot machine payout. And just like a Vegas casino, the house always wins. Welcome to Limbic Capitalism, where your brain’s pleasure circuits are the commodity, and Silicon Valley’s designers are the cartel. The drug is dopamine. The dealer is your phone. And you? You’re the addict who doesn’t even know you’re paying for your own addiction.

 

The Invisible Addiction Architecture– Every notification, every infinite scroll, every recommendation algorithm is a precisely engineered neurochemical weapon. We’re not just users; we’re lab rats in a grand experiment of psychological manipulation.

 

Real-World Dopamine Hijacking Examples:

a) Social Media Slot Machines

Instagram’s infinite scroll mimics gambling mechanics

Randomized likes and comments trigger unpredictable reward circuits

Users become addicted to micro-validations, trading genuine connection for digital dopamine hits

 

 

b) Gaming and Engagement Traps

–Fortnite’s design psychology deliberately triggers reward centers

-Loot boxes function exactly like gambling mechanisms

-Players chase ephemeral digital achievements, losing real-world momentum

 

c) Streaming Platforms’ Binge Engineering

-Netflix’s autoplay feature removes cognitive friction

– Algorithmic recommendations create personalized addiction pathways

– “Just one more episode” becomes a neurological command, not a choice

 

The Neurological Battlefield- Our limbic system – that ancient, emotional brain – is being weaponized against our prefrontal cortex’s rational decision-making. Tech companies aren’t just selling products; they’re selling dopamine.

 

The Science of Swipe and Suffer | How It Works:-

– Dopamine Loops:Infinite scroll, variable rewards (Likes, matches, streaks), and “pull-to-refresh” mechanics are deliberately modeled after slot machines.

– Pain-Pleasure Seesaw: Apps exploit the “dopamine dip“—the crash after stimulation that keeps you coming back (e.g., post-viral-TikTok emptiness)- Example:Instagram’s “algorithmic slot machine” (your feed is a Skinner Box)

 

Real-Life Lab Rats:-

– TikTok Teens:60% report feeling “empty” after binge-scrolling (but can’t stop).

– LinkedIn Lurkers: Chasing “engagement” like it’s career crack (“Why did my post only get 3 Likes?!” refreshes obsessively).

– Dating App Hell: Swiping to numb loneliness, only to feel lonelier (Grindr users average 10x more daily sessions than smokers have cigarettes).

 

The Cost Of The Hit | Your Brain on App:-

 

The Pleasure Trap:

– “Digital Heroin“:fMRI scans show social media triggers the same neural pathways as cocaine.

– Example: Facebook’s “like” button was designed to exploit FOMO (their first VP of Growth literally wrote “We’re the dopamine dealers“in internal memos).

–The Pain Payoff:

– Attention Residue:Constant switching between apps lowers IQ more than weed (Stanford study).

– Example: The average person checks their phone 58x a day—once every 15 minutes during waking hours.

Corporate Culprits:

– Netflix’s “Next Episode” Autoplay:Engineers call it “the brain hack” (you didn’t “choose” to binge—they removed friction).

– Uber’s “Surge” Notifications: Mimics dopamine spikes of gambling wins (“Surge pricing ending soon!” = urgency hit).

 

–Twitter/X: “It’s a public square!” (Reality:A gladiator arena where everyone’s armed with memes and trauma.)

 

The Playbook of Predatory Tech:-

– Slot Machine Logic: Pull-to-refresh = lever pull. Notifications = jackpot lights. Your brain doesn’t stand a chance.

– Example: Instagram’s algorithm prioritizes posts with “high engagement”(read: drama, outrage, or half-naked influencers) because conflict = more dopamine hits = more ad revenue.

 

Real-Life Victims (AKA All of Us):-

– The TikTok Zombie: “Just 5 more minutes” turns into 2 hours of watching strangers eat cereal in ASMR. Result: A brain so overstimulated, reading a menu feels like homework.

– The LinkedIn “Thought Leader”: Posts “Humbled to share my journey…”while low-key obsessing over vanity metrics. Result: Self-worth tied to a number even they don’t understand.

– The Dating App Addict: Swipes right 200 times “for fun,” then wonders why real dates feel underwhelming. Result:A dopamine tolerance so high, flirting IRL feels like dial-up internet.

The Fallout( Your Brain On Withdrawal):-Symptoms of Digital Overdose:

– Phantom Vibration Syndrome:Feeling your phone buzz… when it’s in another room.

– Doomscrolling Dementia:Reading the same tweet 5x because your attention span is now shorter than a goldfish’s.

– Comparisonitis: Seeing your friend’s “perfect” vacation pics and suddenly hating your couch, your life, and your face.

The Irony of “Connection”:-

– Fact: The average Gen Zer spends 7 hours a day on screens but reports feeling more lonely than any generation before them.

– Example:You have 1,000 “friends” online but panic at the thought of a phone call.

 

Pain is the New Pleasure (And Why That’s a Problem)- Here’s the irony: The more pleasure we chase, the less satisfaction we get. The more we consume, the emptier we feel.

 

–Overstimulated brains develop tolerance. What was once enjoyable now feels boring.

–Too much dopamine release leads to burnout. Ever wondered why social media feels exhausting even though you “love” it?

-Pleasure without effort kills motivation. Why work for rewards when we can get instant gratification at our fingertips?

The pleasure-pain balance is real, and right now, the world is overdosing on cheap pleasure.

 

The Rebellion( How To Opt Out):-

 

Step 1: Break Up with Your Phone (It’s Toxic) 

– Delete the Worst Offenders:If you open it “just to check” and lose 45 minutes, it’s not an app—it’s a digital fentanyl.

– Try This: Charge your phone outside your bedroom. (Yes, your anxiety will spike. That’s the point.)

Step 2: Rewire Your Brain (Embrace the Boredom)

– Fact: Boredom is where creativity lives. Your phone is where it goes to die.

– Try This:Next time you’re waiting in line, don’t reach for your phone. Notice how your brain screams like a toddler denied candy.

Step 3: Hack the Hackers

– Use These Apps:

– Freedom:Blocks social media like a bouncer at an exclusive club.

– OneSec: Makes you wait 5 seconds before opening Instagram. (Fun fact:Most cravings pass in 90 seconds—if you don’t act on them.)

Step 4: Reclaim Real Life (Radical, I Know)

– Example: A group in Berlin started “phone stack” dinners—first to touch their phone pays the bill. Result: Actual eye contact. Miraculous.

 

Further Reading | Action:-

 

Watch: The Social Dilemma (Netflix) – Spoiler:It’s scarier than Black Mirror.

– Read:  Stolen Focus by Johann Hari –Key Takeaway:Your phone is why you can’t read books anymore.

– Do:A 24-hour dopamine fast(no screens, no sugar, no BS). Warning: Withdrawal symptoms may include thinking.

 

In a world designed to overstimulate, the real flex isn’t how much you consume—it’s how much you control.

 

Are you in charge of your dopamine, or is it in charge of you? 

 

There are two types of people in this world: Those who think ‘SMH’ means ‘So Much Happiness’ and those who know it’s the sound your soul makes when your dad comments ‘VERY NICE PIC BETA ’on your LinkedIn post about layoffs.”

 

I recently was shown a Gen Z’s Instagram story that said, ‘She ate, no crumbs.’ I stared at it for 10 minutes, convinced it was either a food review or a cannibal confession. Turns out, it meant ‘She did well.’ Meanwhile, my uncle’s WhatsApp status is still ‘Good morning  God bless  Send to 10 people for luck.’ Evolution? More like devolution.

 

THE LANGUAGE OF EACH PLATFORM (AND WHY IT’S INSANE)

 

Instagram: Where Reality Goes to Die

 

Gen Z:“POV: You’re a strawberry in a vegan café” (Translation: I took a photo of my smoothie.)

– Millennials:“Living my best life! #Blessed”(Translation: I cried into my avocado toast today.)  Here’s a Bonus- Millennial Caption:“Living authentically! (After 3 filters, 2 Facetune edits, and 1 existential crisis.)

– Boomers: Posts a sunset pic with no caption, just . Profound. Sorry, must add this- Boomer Comment:“Nice pic beta. When marriage?

 

LinkedIn: The Land of Fake Humility

 

-Humbled to be featured in Forbes’ ‘Top 100 People Who Paid to Be Featured in Forbes.’

 

-“I failed 17 times before I sold my startup for $2 billion. Here’s a vague inspirational quote to distract you from my trust fund.”

-“Took a 2-day course on breathing. Here’s how it made me a CEO.”

 

– ” Just had a coffee. Here’s how it taught me about scalable growth.”

– Bonus: The guy who writes “Agree?” after stating the sky is blue. Wisdom whiplashed!!

 

WhatsApp: The Forward(backward?) Factory

– Boomer Special:“NASA says Jupiter will align with Venus tonight and cure arthritis. Forward to family or suffer bad luck for 7 years.” (And, if you are seeking ground reality, please ask Sunita Williams).

– Millennial Adaptation:“Send this to 10 friends for good vibes! ” (Still guilt-tripping, just with emojis.)

 

–Classic Forward:“DANGER! Sleeping with your phone under your pillow causes 5G cancer!!! Send to 10 family members or face bad luck for 6 lifetimes.

 

Twitter/X: Where Subtlety Goes to Die

 

Gen Z:“Me: exists Anxiety: Bestie, let’s ruin your life.”

– Corporate Twitter:“We’re sorry you found a rat in your burger. Here’s a coupon for 10% off your next rat-free meal!(And no, they don’t smell a rat!).

 

TikTok: The Land of Cryptic Challenges

– “POV: You’re a Victorian ghost watching me eat cereal at 3 AM.” (Why???)

– Comments Section:“She’s so me.”(No, Karen, you’re not a sentient croissant.)

 

Snapchat: Where Conversations Go to Get Buried

– Gen Z: Sends a blurry selfie with the caption “Ugh.”

– Millennial:”Wait, how do you use this app again?”

 

Some real world examples that will make us all wheeze

 

The LinkedIn Poet: “The clock ticks. The coffee cools. My Excel sheet stares back. #CorporateLife”(Sir, this is a Wendy’s.)

 

The Instagram Philosopher: “Be like water. But also like fire. But also like a rock. But also…just buy my detox tea.”

 

The WhatsApp Uncle: Sends a 240p video titled “SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF LORD KRISHNA’S INTERNET” with UFO clips from 1998. (KNOWstalgia Marketing anyone?).

 

The TikTok Therapist: “If he doesn’t appreciate your ‘quiet BPD chaotic cottage core vibe,’ he’s not your twin flame.”(Ma’am, that’s a felony.)

 

Gen Z invented a word called ‘rizz,’ which means ‘charisma.’ Meanwhile, my aunt’s idea of rizz is forwarding a message that says, ‘Drink warm water with lemon at 5:17 AM for eternal youth.’ Sorry, aunty, but your rizz is broken.”

 

Lets look at who’s winning in the Generational Warfare: TBH– no one!

 

–Gen Z:  Texts Like:“Wdym you didn’t see my story? Are you ghosting me or just old?”

– Reality:Will cancel you for using instead of .

–Millennials: Still Using:“ TBH, IDK, I’m just here for the WiFi.”

– Also Millennials: Writes a LinkedIn post about how their cat taught them leadership.

–Boomers:

– Facebook Post:“Good morning friends! Today’s thought: Life is like a bicycle. Keep pedaling or you’ll fall. Also, don’t forget to drink warm water.”

– WhatsApp Forward:“NEVER charge your phone at night – it steals your soul AND your data!” .

 

-Bonus-Every message begins with “GOOD MORNING FAMILY “—even at 9 PM.

 

Some awebservations:

 

-Somewhere between Shakespeare and “WYD?”, humanity tripped, fell, and landed in an abyss of emojis and abbreviations.

-If aliens ever intercept our tweets, they’ll assume Earth is ruled by cats, influencers, and people who speak exclusively in “.

-Once upon a time, “thread” was something you used to stitch clothes. Now, it’s 47 tweets about why oat milk is a scam. Sorry, just needling you!

-If Socrates had lived today, he’d be explaining philosophy on TikTok in 15 second clips, captioned “POV: You Just Got Enlightened. “.

-My friend’s grandmother thinks “LOL” means “Lots of Love“—which is how she once texted condolences at a funeral.

–Gen Z(The Keepers of Internet Slang & Chaos Incarnate)-always speaks in lowercase, because proper capitalization is apparently a crime.

–Gen X(The Facebook Philosophers & LinkedIn Poets)– Think Instagram filters are a government conspiracy to make people look better than they actually do.

–Millennials (The Meme Lords & Hashtag Enthusiasts)- are very fluent in GIFs. Can have entire conversations using just Michael Scott’s face. Them typing “I’m dead ” does not mean they require medical assistance.

 

Before I sign off, here’s an ode to The Emoji Hierarchy:  = “We’re going viral, baby.”  = “I’m laughing so hard I might actually be dead.”  = “You’re cool, but I’m too lazy to type actual words.”  = “I’m watching this drama unfold with popcorn.”  = “I have no words, only existential dread.”  = Used by Boomers to mean “God bless” and by Millennials to mean “Pls, I beg.”

 

Final Thoughts: Keeping Up with the Internet’s Linguistic Gymnastics

The internet has birthed a language so ridiculous, even Shakespeare would be like, “Y’all wildin‘.” But hey, if we survived “YOLO,” “bae,” and “on fleek,” we’ll make it through this era too. So whether you’re a “Good Morning WhatsApp Warrior” or a “Rizz Lord on TikTok,” one thing is certain—language isn’t dying, it’s just vibing.

 

PS-If you read this whole post without Googling a single slang term, you are officially cool. If not, welcome to the club. ”

Stay woke, stay vibing, and please, for the love of grammar, use a comma once in a while.

Language evolves, slang changes, but one thing remains the same—no one actually knows what ‘yeet’ means.

 

Disclaimer: No social media managers were harmed in the making of this blog.

 

The most successful piece of content I saw last week was a 17-second video of a grandmother trying VR for the first time and accidentally karate-chopping her grandson. No brand, no call to action, no strategy deck – just pure human chaos. Meanwhile, many meticulously planned product launch videos get fewer views than my building’s elevator has occupants.

 

The Content Bloodbath: Survival of the What-The-Heck-Was-That– Let’s face it – we’re all drowning in a sea of content deeper than the Bermuda Triangle. Every second, approximately 8.7 million emails are sent, 9,132 tweets are posted, 67,000 Instagram photos are shared, and at least 12 marketers somewhere are crying into their keyboards after checking their engagement metrics.

 

Welcome to the Internet—Where Mediocre Content Goes to Die. Every day, a billion pieces of content fight for attention—most of it about as exciting as watching a Windows update. And yet, some content slaps harder than a Wi-Fi outage in the middle of a Zoom call.

 

The Content Hunger Games: What’s Actually Winning? Welcome to the internet, where everyone’s a thought leader, storyteller, guru, ninja, disruptor, or (God forbid) a ‘growth hacker’. The result? A tsunami of content—most of it so bland, you’d rather watch paint dry on a Monday morning after a bad espresso. So, what kind of content actually wins? What makes people stop scrolling, start sharing, and (gasp!) take action? Let’s explore—because our audience doesn’t need more content. They need better content.

Brutal Honesty(The kind that punches you in the face, albeit lovingly): People are tired of sugarcoated nonsense. They crave raw, unfiltered, no-BS truth. When LinkedIn influencer Justin Welsh posted “Nobody cares about your resume, they care about the value you create,”he racked up millions of views. Why? Because it’s true.  The winning content move would go like this I reckon- Ditch the corporate fluff. Speak like a real person. Drop truth bombs.

 

Edutainment (Smart, But Make It Fun)– Nobody wants to read “The 17,842 Benefits of Digital Transformation.” They DO want to read “Why Your Boss’s Obsession with ‘Digital Transformation’ Is Slowly Killing Your Soul.” Example: Mark Ritson, the marketing legend, writes with zero mercy and 100% intelligence—turning complex marketing topics into absolute gold. The modus operandi being mixing knowledge with humor. If you can make them laugh and think at the same time, you win.

 

Stories That Make People Feel Stuff– People won’t remember facts. They WILL remember a killer story that made them feel like they were right there. Airbnb’s “Belong Anywhere” campaign. They don’t sell you a place to stay. They sell you a place to feel at home. That’s why you book, not just browse. The no-brainer here being -Use real stories, real emotions, real people.

 

Short, Savage & Shareable– Attention spans are shorter than a goldfish’s to-do list. If you can’t hook them in two seconds, you’ve lost. Twitter’s (now X’s) best-performing posts: “Your salary is the drug they give you to forget your dreams.” or “Your Uber driver sees you before your therapist does.” The winning move would be – If it’s long, make it short. If it’s slow, make it punchy. If it’s boring, delete it.

 

Relatability is the New Royalty (Because Nobody Cares About Your Perfect Life)-nobody wants to see your curated, airbrushed, blessed life. They want to see the mess, the chaos, and the “OMG, this is me” moments.  Ryanair’s Twitter is the king of savage clapbacks. They don’t just respond to trolls—they annihilate them with wit. It’s like watching a verbal MMA fight, and we’re all here for it.

 

It takes two to tango-still, yes- Utility meets Entertainment: The best content teaches you something while keeping you entertained. It’s like that one teacher who made math fun—except now, it’s on TikTok.  Duolingo’s TikTok account is a chaotic mix of language lessons and absurd humor, thanks to their mascot, Duo the Owl, who’s basically the passive-aggressive overlord of learning.  Or BuzzFeed’s Tasty videos, which are the ultimate edutainment. They show you how to make a 3-course meal in 60 seconds, and you’re like, “I could totally do that!” (Spoiler: You can’t.)

 

The Content That’s Flopping Harder Than a Fish on Land– The ‘Thought Leader’ Who’s Saying Nothing New- Example: “5 Tips to Be More Productive.” Wow, never heard that before. Revolutionary. What works?
“Waking Up at 5 AM Won’t Fix Your Mediocre Life.” (Now that I’ll read.) If your post sounds like an AI-generated self-help book, burn it and start over.

 

People love buying. They hate being sold to.

 

Nobody wakes up thinking, “I wonder what the latest omni channel synergy in MarTech looks like today?” Talk like a human, not like a corporate PowerPoint deck from hell.

 

Trying to compress all this in an ACRONYM– content that has the SUAVE – Surprise + Utility + Authenticity + Vulnerability + Entertainment- stands a better chance to connect and possibly create a contagion. 

 

Because “Clickbait is Dead. Long Live Click-WORTHY!”

 

 

 

Our audience is the hero, we are just the sidekicks!

 

Batman gets the Batmobile, the mansion, and the movies. Alfred gets… to clean the Batcave. Welcome to marketing, darlings, where we’re all just Alfreds in a world that worships Batmans. Your audience? They’re wearing the cape. You’re just the one who makes sure it doesn’t get caught in the door.

 

In a world where every brand is vying for attention, it’s easy to forget one fundamental truth: the audience is the hero of this story. They’re the ones on a quest, facing challenges, and seeking solutions. We, my friends, are merely the trusty sidekicks—think Robin to their Batman, or Samwise to their Frodo. Our role? To support, uplift, and empower them on their journey. So grab your capes (or maybe just your coffee), and let’s dive into why embracing this mindset can transform our approach to engagement!

 

The Delusion We Call Marketing– Let’s cut the crap. We spend obscene amounts of time crafting “disruptive” campaigns and “revolutionary” messaging, then gather in conference rooms to high-five each other’s genius. We imagine customers swooning over our brilliant brand stories while dramatically reaching for their wallets. Meanwhile, in reality? Your audience is using your award-winning brochure as a coaster, scrolling Instagram during your video ads, and asking their friend, “What was that brand again? The one with the thing and the stuff?” Brutal truth bomb: You’re not the main character in this story. You never were. And your marketing metrics are quietly trying to tell you that.

 

The Brutal Truth About Being a Sidekick-Here’s the thing about sidekicks—they work their asses off while the hero gets the glory. Alfred manages the entire Bat-enterprise. Samwise literally drags Frodo up a volcano. Hermione does all the homework while Harry Potter gets his name in the damn book title. As marketers, it’s time to embrace this uncomfortable reality. Our job isn’t to bask in adoration. Our job is to make our audience look and feel like the badasses they aspire to be. Nike doesn’t waste time saying, “We engineer incredible footwear with proprietary cushioning technology.” They just say, “Just Do It“—putting all the heroic action on YOU. They’re just the sidekick slipping you the gear for your moment of glory. Or consider Duolingo, the language-learning app. Duolingo doesn’t claim to magically make you fluent. Instead, it positions itself as the quirky, encouraging sidekick (complete with a green owl mascot) that helps you—the hero—unlock your potential, one lesson at a time.

 

Why Being a Sidekick is a Superpower– Being a sidekick isn’t about playing small; it’s about playing smart. It’s about understanding that the real magic happens when the hero feels seen, heard, and capable. Here’s why embracing the sidekick role is a superpower:

–Empathy is Key: Sidekicks listen. They understand the hero’s struggles and dreams. When we truly know our audience, we can create content, products, and experiences that resonate deeply.
–Humility is Strength: Sidekicks don’t need the glory. They find joy in the hero’s success. When we celebrate our audience’s wins, we build trust and loyalty.
–Guidance is Golden: Sidekicks offer wisdom without overshadowing. Whether it’s a how-to guide, a motivational post, or a life-changing product, we’re here to light the way, not take over the journey.

 

Sidekicks Who Absolutely Killed It (Without Trying to Steal the Show)- LEGO: Masters of the Humble Flex- LEGO doesn’t sell plastic bricks; they sell you the experience of becoming a creative deity. Their “Rebuild the World” campaign doesn’t scream “Look how awesome our R&D department is!” Instead, it whispers, “Look what YOU can create, you magnificent beast.” They’re just supplying the building blocks of your genius.

 

Airbnb: “Belong Anywhere” (Because Hotels Are For Losers): Airbnb brilliantly pivoted from “find a cheap place to crash” to “belong anywhere” faster than you can say “overpriced hotel minibar.” They’re not the hero swooping in with accommodations; they’re the wingman helping YOU experience Paris like a local instead of a fanny-pack-wearing tourist taking selfies at the Eiffel Tower. Their Instagram doesn’t feature luxury listings—it features YOU living your best #vanlife.

 

Spotify Wrapped: The Ultimate “It’s Not About Us” Power Move– When Spotify launched their “Wrapped” feature, they essentially said, “Here’s irrefutable proof that you have superior music taste, and we’ve made it obnoxiously easy for you to flex on all your friends.” They didn’t take credit for your questionable obsession with 80s hair metal—they celebrated it and helped you broadcast it to everyone you know. Pure sidekick brilliance.

 

How to Ditch Your Hero Complex and Embrace Sidekick Status- Ready to swallow your pride and grab the sidekick toolkit? Here’s how:

– Kill Your Darlings: That clever tagline about YOUR brand’s superiority? Murder it. Replace it with how the customer becomes superior by using your product.

–Stop the Chest-Thumping: Nobody cares about your “revolutionary algorithm” or “disruptive innovation.” They care about solving their problems without wanting to throw their laptop out the window.

–Trash Your Self-Centered Visuals: If your marketing features more product glamour shots than customers crushing goals, you’re doing it wrong. Painfully wrong.

–Burn the “About Us” Script: Your origin story is fascinating… to your mother. Rewrite everything to star your customer instead.

–Get Over Yourself Metrics: Start measuring customer wins instead of how many times you’ve managed to interrupt their day.

The Delicious Plot Twist-Here’s the exquisite irony that most marketers miss: The brands that most aggressively position their customers as heroes ultimately become legends themselves. By stepping back into the sidekick role, they don’t fade into obscurity—they become indispensable to their customer’s personal narrative. When you make your audience the hero, you don’t diminish your brand—you elevate it from a forgettable product to the essential sidekick in the epic saga of your customer’s life. So surrender the spotlight, hand over the cape, and embrace your role as the witty, resourceful sidekick in your customer’s journey. It’s not just good storytelling; it’s the only way to avoid being that brand nobody remembers.

 

The Sidekick Code: How to Make Your Audience the Hero

–Start with THEM, Not You: Your customer isn’t interested in your awards, your milestones, or your internal company drama. They want to know: How can you make my life better, easier, more meaningful?

– Tell THEIR Story, Not Yours: Instead of showcasing your greatness, highlight real people using your product or service. Case studies. Testimonials. Uplifting journeys. Your job? To be the enabler, not the star.

–Speak Their Language: Nobody wakes up thinking, “I need a cutting-edge, AI-powered, enterprise-grade SaaS solution with scalable cloud infrastructure.” But they do think, “I need something that makes my life easier.” Drop the jargon, speak like a human.

–Solve Problems, Don’t Sell Products: Aspirin doesn’t market itself as a “pharmaceutical innovation”—it says, “Got a headache? We’ll fix it.” Get straight to the point: What problem are you solving?

–Make Them Feel Something: Great brands don’t just sell—they inspire. Laughter, nostalgia, empowerment—tap into emotions, and you’ll be remembered.

 

Your Audience Holds the Spotlight. You Hold the Flashlight– That’s it. Your cue to exit the spotlight and start directing it. 

 

When your distractions no longer distract you, that is discipline.

 

It’s midnight. Your laptop screen glows like a digital campfire as you hammer out responses to 23 “URGENT” emails about absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, your actual work—the stuff that pays the bills—sits untouched. Congratulations, genius! You’ve fallen for the oldest trick in the corporate playbook: mistaking busy work for actual productivity.

 

The Magnificent Delusion- Let’s cut the crap. That two-hour “strategic alignment” meeting? A colossal waste of oxygen. That 50-slide presentation? Digital toilet paper. That Slack channel erupting with GIFs about project updates? Corporate theater at its finest. We’ve become masters at convincing ourselves that meaningless garbage is actually meaningful work. It’s not. It’s just easier than doing the hard stuff.

 

Let’s face it: we’re all juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle on a tightrope called “life.” But here’s the kicker—half those swords are plastic, the unicycle has a flat tire, and the tightrope is just a chalk line on the ground. Welcome to the circus of modern productivity, where distractions dress up in priority costumes and parade around like they own the place.

 

Here’s the truth: distractions are like that one friend who always convinces you to stay out for “one more drink” when you have an early meeting. They’re fun, they’re sneaky, and they always leave you regretting your choices the next morning. The key is to stop letting them crash on your priority couch rent-free.

 

The Busyness Scam– Busyness is the ultimate smoke screen. It’s the guy in a suit shouting into a Bluetooth headset at Starbucks, pretending he’s closing a deal when he’s actually just arguing with his cable provider. Sound familiar? That’s because you’re doing the same thing—mistaking motion for progress.  For eg: You spend an hour organizing your inbox instead of writing the report that’s due tomorrow. Feels productive, right? Wrong. You’ve just polished the deck chairs on the Titanic. Priorities don’t care about your color-coded folders.

 

Distractions are the The Ultimate Impersonators of Productivity.

 

Let’s take a closer look at what we can call The Hall of Fame Offenders–

 

The Notification Zombie– Meet Vikram. His concentration shatters every time his phone farts out a notification. His brain is now officially a digital pinball machine, bouncing between 47 unrelated thoughts per minute. He hasn’t completed a single coherent task in months, but his reaction time to WhatsApp messages is Olympic-caliber.

 

The Calendar Masochist- Then there’s Elena, who wears her back-to-back meetings like battle scars. “Can’t talk now, I’m SLAMMED all day!” Translation: “I’m trapped in rectangular boxes on my calendar where people talk in circles until everyone’s will to live has been thoroughly crushed.” Real question: when exactly does she do her actual job?

 

The Email Kamikaze– Dave launches himself into his inbox each morning like it’s a holy mission. Three hours later, he emerges, bloodshot and twitching, having accomplished precisely nothing except moving digital messages from one folder to another. He thinks he’s working. He’s actually just sorting electronic confetti.

 

The Notification Junkie – Meet Rahul, who treats every phone ping like it’s a message from the future warning of impending doom. He’s interrupted genuine strategic thinking 37 times today to respond to messages that could have waited until next Tuesday. Yet he’ll tell you with a straight face that he’s “focused on high-impact work.”

 

The Perfectionist Trap– And let’s not forget the perfectionists among us (you know who you are). You spend three hours formatting a PowerPoint slide, tweaking the font size, and aligning the bullet points like your life depends on it. Meanwhile, the actual content of the presentation is about as substantial as a rice cake. Distractions love perfectionists—they’re their favorite playground.

 

The Grand Illusion of Busyness- Let’s be honest. That meeting that “could have been an email”? It wasn’t even worth the email. That dashboard you spent three days perfecting? The CEO glanced at it for exactly 7 seconds before asking a question that shows he never understood what it was for in the first place. We’ve become corporate magicians, transforming meaningless tasks into “mission-critical deliverables” with nothing but the power of calendar invites and buzzwords.

 

The Priority Paradox is where Everything Important Gets Ignored.

The Wake-Up Call-Next time you’re about to dive into the rabbit hole of corporate busy-work, ask yourself: “Is this moving me toward dominance or just making me feel important while accomplishing nothing?” Because here’s the stone-cold truth: At your funeral, nobody will say, “They really knew how to clear their inbox.” Figure out what matters before you run out of time.

 

The Distraction Economy is where You’re Being Played (And Paying For It).

 

The No-BS Priority Reset

-If it doesn’t drive revenue, slash costs, or make customers orgasmically happy, it’s not a priority. It’s organizational theater.

-Your calendar is not a democracy. It’s a dictatorship, and you’re the dictator. Act like it.

-Most “emergencies” are just poor planning wearing a crisis costume. Let them burn.

-That task you’re avoiding? That’s probably your actual priority. Everything else is just sophisticated procrastination.

–“No” is a complete sentence. Use it like you’re getting paid per refusal.

 

Because here’s the stone-cold truth: At your funeral, nobody will say, “They really knew how to clear their inbox.” Figure out what matters before you run out of time.