Suresh Dinakaran's Blog

 

There are two types of people in this world: Those who think ‘SMH’ means ‘So Much Happiness’ and those who know it’s the sound your soul makes when your dad comments ‘VERY NICE PIC BETA ’on your LinkedIn post about layoffs.”

 

I recently was shown a Gen Z’s Instagram story that said, ‘She ate, no crumbs.’ I stared at it for 10 minutes, convinced it was either a food review or a cannibal confession. Turns out, it meant ‘She did well.’ Meanwhile, my uncle’s WhatsApp status is still ‘Good morning  God bless  Send to 10 people for luck.’ Evolution? More like devolution.

 

THE LANGUAGE OF EACH PLATFORM (AND WHY IT’S INSANE)

 

Instagram: Where Reality Goes to Die

 

Gen Z:“POV: You’re a strawberry in a vegan café” (Translation: I took a photo of my smoothie.)

– Millennials:“Living my best life! #Blessed”(Translation: I cried into my avocado toast today.)  Here’s a Bonus- Millennial Caption:“Living authentically! (After 3 filters, 2 Facetune edits, and 1 existential crisis.)

– Boomers: Posts a sunset pic with no caption, just . Profound. Sorry, must add this- Boomer Comment:“Nice pic beta. When marriage?

 

LinkedIn: The Land of Fake Humility

 

-Humbled to be featured in Forbes’ ‘Top 100 People Who Paid to Be Featured in Forbes.’

 

-“I failed 17 times before I sold my startup for $2 billion. Here’s a vague inspirational quote to distract you from my trust fund.”

-“Took a 2-day course on breathing. Here’s how it made me a CEO.”

 

– ” Just had a coffee. Here’s how it taught me about scalable growth.”

– Bonus: The guy who writes “Agree?” after stating the sky is blue. Wisdom whiplashed!!

 

WhatsApp: The Forward(backward?) Factory

– Boomer Special:“NASA says Jupiter will align with Venus tonight and cure arthritis. Forward to family or suffer bad luck for 7 years.” (And, if you are seeking ground reality, please ask Sunita Williams).

– Millennial Adaptation:“Send this to 10 friends for good vibes! ” (Still guilt-tripping, just with emojis.)

 

–Classic Forward:“DANGER! Sleeping with your phone under your pillow causes 5G cancer!!! Send to 10 family members or face bad luck for 6 lifetimes.

 

Twitter/X: Where Subtlety Goes to Die

 

Gen Z:“Me: exists Anxiety: Bestie, let’s ruin your life.”

– Corporate Twitter:“We’re sorry you found a rat in your burger. Here’s a coupon for 10% off your next rat-free meal!(And no, they don’t smell a rat!).

 

TikTok: The Land of Cryptic Challenges

– “POV: You’re a Victorian ghost watching me eat cereal at 3 AM.” (Why???)

– Comments Section:“She’s so me.”(No, Karen, you’re not a sentient croissant.)

 

Snapchat: Where Conversations Go to Get Buried

– Gen Z: Sends a blurry selfie with the caption “Ugh.”

– Millennial:”Wait, how do you use this app again?”

 

Some real world examples that will make us all wheeze

 

The LinkedIn Poet: “The clock ticks. The coffee cools. My Excel sheet stares back. #CorporateLife”(Sir, this is a Wendy’s.)

 

The Instagram Philosopher: “Be like water. But also like fire. But also like a rock. But also…just buy my detox tea.”

 

The WhatsApp Uncle: Sends a 240p video titled “SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF LORD KRISHNA’S INTERNET” with UFO clips from 1998. (KNOWstalgia Marketing anyone?).

 

The TikTok Therapist: “If he doesn’t appreciate your ‘quiet BPD chaotic cottage core vibe,’ he’s not your twin flame.”(Ma’am, that’s a felony.)

 

Gen Z invented a word called ‘rizz,’ which means ‘charisma.’ Meanwhile, my aunt’s idea of rizz is forwarding a message that says, ‘Drink warm water with lemon at 5:17 AM for eternal youth.’ Sorry, aunty, but your rizz is broken.”

 

Lets look at who’s winning in the Generational Warfare: TBH– no one!

 

–Gen Z:  Texts Like:“Wdym you didn’t see my story? Are you ghosting me or just old?”

– Reality:Will cancel you for using instead of .

–Millennials: Still Using:“ TBH, IDK, I’m just here for the WiFi.”

– Also Millennials: Writes a LinkedIn post about how their cat taught them leadership.

–Boomers:

– Facebook Post:“Good morning friends! Today’s thought: Life is like a bicycle. Keep pedaling or you’ll fall. Also, don’t forget to drink warm water.”

– WhatsApp Forward:“NEVER charge your phone at night – it steals your soul AND your data!” .

 

-Bonus-Every message begins with “GOOD MORNING FAMILY “—even at 9 PM.

 

Some awebservations:

 

-Somewhere between Shakespeare and “WYD?”, humanity tripped, fell, and landed in an abyss of emojis and abbreviations.

-If aliens ever intercept our tweets, they’ll assume Earth is ruled by cats, influencers, and people who speak exclusively in “.

-Once upon a time, “thread” was something you used to stitch clothes. Now, it’s 47 tweets about why oat milk is a scam. Sorry, just needling you!

-If Socrates had lived today, he’d be explaining philosophy on TikTok in 15 second clips, captioned “POV: You Just Got Enlightened. “.

-My friend’s grandmother thinks “LOL” means “Lots of Love“—which is how she once texted condolences at a funeral.

–Gen Z(The Keepers of Internet Slang & Chaos Incarnate)-always speaks in lowercase, because proper capitalization is apparently a crime.

–Gen X(The Facebook Philosophers & LinkedIn Poets)– Think Instagram filters are a government conspiracy to make people look better than they actually do.

–Millennials (The Meme Lords & Hashtag Enthusiasts)- are very fluent in GIFs. Can have entire conversations using just Michael Scott’s face. Them typing “I’m dead ” does not mean they require medical assistance.

 

Before I sign off, here’s an ode to The Emoji Hierarchy:  = “We’re going viral, baby.”  = “I’m laughing so hard I might actually be dead.”  = “You’re cool, but I’m too lazy to type actual words.”  = “I’m watching this drama unfold with popcorn.”  = “I have no words, only existential dread.”  = Used by Boomers to mean “God bless” and by Millennials to mean “Pls, I beg.”

 

Final Thoughts: Keeping Up with the Internet’s Linguistic Gymnastics

The internet has birthed a language so ridiculous, even Shakespeare would be like, “Y’all wildin‘.” But hey, if we survived “YOLO,” “bae,” and “on fleek,” we’ll make it through this era too. So whether you’re a “Good Morning WhatsApp Warrior” or a “Rizz Lord on TikTok,” one thing is certain—language isn’t dying, it’s just vibing.

 

PS-If you read this whole post without Googling a single slang term, you are officially cool. If not, welcome to the club. ”

Stay woke, stay vibing, and please, for the love of grammar, use a comma once in a while.

Language evolves, slang changes, but one thing remains the same—no one actually knows what ‘yeet’ means.

 

Disclaimer: No social media managers were harmed in the making of this blog.

 

The most successful piece of content I saw last week was a 17-second video of a grandmother trying VR for the first time and accidentally karate-chopping her grandson. No brand, no call to action, no strategy deck – just pure human chaos. Meanwhile, many meticulously planned product launch videos get fewer views than my building’s elevator has occupants.

 

The Content Bloodbath: Survival of the What-The-Heck-Was-That– Let’s face it – we’re all drowning in a sea of content deeper than the Bermuda Triangle. Every second, approximately 8.7 million emails are sent, 9,132 tweets are posted, 67,000 Instagram photos are shared, and at least 12 marketers somewhere are crying into their keyboards after checking their engagement metrics.

 

Welcome to the Internet—Where Mediocre Content Goes to Die. Every day, a billion pieces of content fight for attention—most of it about as exciting as watching a Windows update. And yet, some content slaps harder than a Wi-Fi outage in the middle of a Zoom call.

 

The Content Hunger Games: What’s Actually Winning? Welcome to the internet, where everyone’s a thought leader, storyteller, guru, ninja, disruptor, or (God forbid) a ‘growth hacker’. The result? A tsunami of content—most of it so bland, you’d rather watch paint dry on a Monday morning after a bad espresso. So, what kind of content actually wins? What makes people stop scrolling, start sharing, and (gasp!) take action? Let’s explore—because our audience doesn’t need more content. They need better content.

Brutal Honesty(The kind that punches you in the face, albeit lovingly): People are tired of sugarcoated nonsense. They crave raw, unfiltered, no-BS truth. When LinkedIn influencer Justin Welsh posted “Nobody cares about your resume, they care about the value you create,”he racked up millions of views. Why? Because it’s true.  The winning content move would go like this I reckon- Ditch the corporate fluff. Speak like a real person. Drop truth bombs.

 

Edutainment (Smart, But Make It Fun)– Nobody wants to read “The 17,842 Benefits of Digital Transformation.” They DO want to read “Why Your Boss’s Obsession with ‘Digital Transformation’ Is Slowly Killing Your Soul.” Example: Mark Ritson, the marketing legend, writes with zero mercy and 100% intelligence—turning complex marketing topics into absolute gold. The modus operandi being mixing knowledge with humor. If you can make them laugh and think at the same time, you win.

 

Stories That Make People Feel Stuff– People won’t remember facts. They WILL remember a killer story that made them feel like they were right there. Airbnb’s “Belong Anywhere” campaign. They don’t sell you a place to stay. They sell you a place to feel at home. That’s why you book, not just browse. The no-brainer here being -Use real stories, real emotions, real people.

 

Short, Savage & Shareable– Attention spans are shorter than a goldfish’s to-do list. If you can’t hook them in two seconds, you’ve lost. Twitter’s (now X’s) best-performing posts: “Your salary is the drug they give you to forget your dreams.” or “Your Uber driver sees you before your therapist does.” The winning move would be – If it’s long, make it short. If it’s slow, make it punchy. If it’s boring, delete it.

 

Relatability is the New Royalty (Because Nobody Cares About Your Perfect Life)-nobody wants to see your curated, airbrushed, blessed life. They want to see the mess, the chaos, and the “OMG, this is me” moments.  Ryanair’s Twitter is the king of savage clapbacks. They don’t just respond to trolls—they annihilate them with wit. It’s like watching a verbal MMA fight, and we’re all here for it.

 

It takes two to tango-still, yes- Utility meets Entertainment: The best content teaches you something while keeping you entertained. It’s like that one teacher who made math fun—except now, it’s on TikTok.  Duolingo’s TikTok account is a chaotic mix of language lessons and absurd humor, thanks to their mascot, Duo the Owl, who’s basically the passive-aggressive overlord of learning.  Or BuzzFeed’s Tasty videos, which are the ultimate edutainment. They show you how to make a 3-course meal in 60 seconds, and you’re like, “I could totally do that!” (Spoiler: You can’t.)

 

The Content That’s Flopping Harder Than a Fish on Land– The ‘Thought Leader’ Who’s Saying Nothing New- Example: “5 Tips to Be More Productive.” Wow, never heard that before. Revolutionary. What works?
“Waking Up at 5 AM Won’t Fix Your Mediocre Life.” (Now that I’ll read.) If your post sounds like an AI-generated self-help book, burn it and start over.

 

People love buying. They hate being sold to.

 

Nobody wakes up thinking, “I wonder what the latest omni channel synergy in MarTech looks like today?” Talk like a human, not like a corporate PowerPoint deck from hell.

 

Trying to compress all this in an ACRONYM– content that has the SUAVE – Surprise + Utility + Authenticity + Vulnerability + Entertainment- stands a better chance to connect and possibly create a contagion. 

 

Because “Clickbait is Dead. Long Live Click-WORTHY!”

 

 

 

Our audience is the hero, we are just the sidekicks!

 

Batman gets the Batmobile, the mansion, and the movies. Alfred gets… to clean the Batcave. Welcome to marketing, darlings, where we’re all just Alfreds in a world that worships Batmans. Your audience? They’re wearing the cape. You’re just the one who makes sure it doesn’t get caught in the door.

 

In a world where every brand is vying for attention, it’s easy to forget one fundamental truth: the audience is the hero of this story. They’re the ones on a quest, facing challenges, and seeking solutions. We, my friends, are merely the trusty sidekicks—think Robin to their Batman, or Samwise to their Frodo. Our role? To support, uplift, and empower them on their journey. So grab your capes (or maybe just your coffee), and let’s dive into why embracing this mindset can transform our approach to engagement!

 

The Delusion We Call Marketing– Let’s cut the crap. We spend obscene amounts of time crafting “disruptive” campaigns and “revolutionary” messaging, then gather in conference rooms to high-five each other’s genius. We imagine customers swooning over our brilliant brand stories while dramatically reaching for their wallets. Meanwhile, in reality? Your audience is using your award-winning brochure as a coaster, scrolling Instagram during your video ads, and asking their friend, “What was that brand again? The one with the thing and the stuff?” Brutal truth bomb: You’re not the main character in this story. You never were. And your marketing metrics are quietly trying to tell you that.

 

The Brutal Truth About Being a Sidekick-Here’s the thing about sidekicks—they work their asses off while the hero gets the glory. Alfred manages the entire Bat-enterprise. Samwise literally drags Frodo up a volcano. Hermione does all the homework while Harry Potter gets his name in the damn book title. As marketers, it’s time to embrace this uncomfortable reality. Our job isn’t to bask in adoration. Our job is to make our audience look and feel like the badasses they aspire to be. Nike doesn’t waste time saying, “We engineer incredible footwear with proprietary cushioning technology.” They just say, “Just Do It“—putting all the heroic action on YOU. They’re just the sidekick slipping you the gear for your moment of glory. Or consider Duolingo, the language-learning app. Duolingo doesn’t claim to magically make you fluent. Instead, it positions itself as the quirky, encouraging sidekick (complete with a green owl mascot) that helps you—the hero—unlock your potential, one lesson at a time.

 

Why Being a Sidekick is a Superpower– Being a sidekick isn’t about playing small; it’s about playing smart. It’s about understanding that the real magic happens when the hero feels seen, heard, and capable. Here’s why embracing the sidekick role is a superpower:

–Empathy is Key: Sidekicks listen. They understand the hero’s struggles and dreams. When we truly know our audience, we can create content, products, and experiences that resonate deeply.
–Humility is Strength: Sidekicks don’t need the glory. They find joy in the hero’s success. When we celebrate our audience’s wins, we build trust and loyalty.
–Guidance is Golden: Sidekicks offer wisdom without overshadowing. Whether it’s a how-to guide, a motivational post, or a life-changing product, we’re here to light the way, not take over the journey.

 

Sidekicks Who Absolutely Killed It (Without Trying to Steal the Show)- LEGO: Masters of the Humble Flex- LEGO doesn’t sell plastic bricks; they sell you the experience of becoming a creative deity. Their “Rebuild the World” campaign doesn’t scream “Look how awesome our R&D department is!” Instead, it whispers, “Look what YOU can create, you magnificent beast.” They’re just supplying the building blocks of your genius.

 

Airbnb: “Belong Anywhere” (Because Hotels Are For Losers): Airbnb brilliantly pivoted from “find a cheap place to crash” to “belong anywhere” faster than you can say “overpriced hotel minibar.” They’re not the hero swooping in with accommodations; they’re the wingman helping YOU experience Paris like a local instead of a fanny-pack-wearing tourist taking selfies at the Eiffel Tower. Their Instagram doesn’t feature luxury listings—it features YOU living your best #vanlife.

 

Spotify Wrapped: The Ultimate “It’s Not About Us” Power Move– When Spotify launched their “Wrapped” feature, they essentially said, “Here’s irrefutable proof that you have superior music taste, and we’ve made it obnoxiously easy for you to flex on all your friends.” They didn’t take credit for your questionable obsession with 80s hair metal—they celebrated it and helped you broadcast it to everyone you know. Pure sidekick brilliance.

 

How to Ditch Your Hero Complex and Embrace Sidekick Status- Ready to swallow your pride and grab the sidekick toolkit? Here’s how:

– Kill Your Darlings: That clever tagline about YOUR brand’s superiority? Murder it. Replace it with how the customer becomes superior by using your product.

–Stop the Chest-Thumping: Nobody cares about your “revolutionary algorithm” or “disruptive innovation.” They care about solving their problems without wanting to throw their laptop out the window.

–Trash Your Self-Centered Visuals: If your marketing features more product glamour shots than customers crushing goals, you’re doing it wrong. Painfully wrong.

–Burn the “About Us” Script: Your origin story is fascinating… to your mother. Rewrite everything to star your customer instead.

–Get Over Yourself Metrics: Start measuring customer wins instead of how many times you’ve managed to interrupt their day.

The Delicious Plot Twist-Here’s the exquisite irony that most marketers miss: The brands that most aggressively position their customers as heroes ultimately become legends themselves. By stepping back into the sidekick role, they don’t fade into obscurity—they become indispensable to their customer’s personal narrative. When you make your audience the hero, you don’t diminish your brand—you elevate it from a forgettable product to the essential sidekick in the epic saga of your customer’s life. So surrender the spotlight, hand over the cape, and embrace your role as the witty, resourceful sidekick in your customer’s journey. It’s not just good storytelling; it’s the only way to avoid being that brand nobody remembers.

 

The Sidekick Code: How to Make Your Audience the Hero

–Start with THEM, Not You: Your customer isn’t interested in your awards, your milestones, or your internal company drama. They want to know: How can you make my life better, easier, more meaningful?

– Tell THEIR Story, Not Yours: Instead of showcasing your greatness, highlight real people using your product or service. Case studies. Testimonials. Uplifting journeys. Your job? To be the enabler, not the star.

–Speak Their Language: Nobody wakes up thinking, “I need a cutting-edge, AI-powered, enterprise-grade SaaS solution with scalable cloud infrastructure.” But they do think, “I need something that makes my life easier.” Drop the jargon, speak like a human.

–Solve Problems, Don’t Sell Products: Aspirin doesn’t market itself as a “pharmaceutical innovation”—it says, “Got a headache? We’ll fix it.” Get straight to the point: What problem are you solving?

–Make Them Feel Something: Great brands don’t just sell—they inspire. Laughter, nostalgia, empowerment—tap into emotions, and you’ll be remembered.

 

Your Audience Holds the Spotlight. You Hold the Flashlight– That’s it. Your cue to exit the spotlight and start directing it. 

 

When your distractions no longer distract you, that is discipline.

 

It’s midnight. Your laptop screen glows like a digital campfire as you hammer out responses to 23 “URGENT” emails about absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, your actual work—the stuff that pays the bills—sits untouched. Congratulations, genius! You’ve fallen for the oldest trick in the corporate playbook: mistaking busy work for actual productivity.

 

The Magnificent Delusion- Let’s cut the crap. That two-hour “strategic alignment” meeting? A colossal waste of oxygen. That 50-slide presentation? Digital toilet paper. That Slack channel erupting with GIFs about project updates? Corporate theater at its finest. We’ve become masters at convincing ourselves that meaningless garbage is actually meaningful work. It’s not. It’s just easier than doing the hard stuff.

 

Let’s face it: we’re all juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle on a tightrope called “life.” But here’s the kicker—half those swords are plastic, the unicycle has a flat tire, and the tightrope is just a chalk line on the ground. Welcome to the circus of modern productivity, where distractions dress up in priority costumes and parade around like they own the place.

 

Here’s the truth: distractions are like that one friend who always convinces you to stay out for “one more drink” when you have an early meeting. They’re fun, they’re sneaky, and they always leave you regretting your choices the next morning. The key is to stop letting them crash on your priority couch rent-free.

 

The Busyness Scam– Busyness is the ultimate smoke screen. It’s the guy in a suit shouting into a Bluetooth headset at Starbucks, pretending he’s closing a deal when he’s actually just arguing with his cable provider. Sound familiar? That’s because you’re doing the same thing—mistaking motion for progress.  For eg: You spend an hour organizing your inbox instead of writing the report that’s due tomorrow. Feels productive, right? Wrong. You’ve just polished the deck chairs on the Titanic. Priorities don’t care about your color-coded folders.

 

Distractions are the The Ultimate Impersonators of Productivity.

 

Let’s take a closer look at what we can call The Hall of Fame Offenders–

 

The Notification Zombie– Meet Vikram. His concentration shatters every time his phone farts out a notification. His brain is now officially a digital pinball machine, bouncing between 47 unrelated thoughts per minute. He hasn’t completed a single coherent task in months, but his reaction time to WhatsApp messages is Olympic-caliber.

 

The Calendar Masochist- Then there’s Elena, who wears her back-to-back meetings like battle scars. “Can’t talk now, I’m SLAMMED all day!” Translation: “I’m trapped in rectangular boxes on my calendar where people talk in circles until everyone’s will to live has been thoroughly crushed.” Real question: when exactly does she do her actual job?

 

The Email Kamikaze– Dave launches himself into his inbox each morning like it’s a holy mission. Three hours later, he emerges, bloodshot and twitching, having accomplished precisely nothing except moving digital messages from one folder to another. He thinks he’s working. He’s actually just sorting electronic confetti.

 

The Notification Junkie – Meet Rahul, who treats every phone ping like it’s a message from the future warning of impending doom. He’s interrupted genuine strategic thinking 37 times today to respond to messages that could have waited until next Tuesday. Yet he’ll tell you with a straight face that he’s “focused on high-impact work.”

 

The Perfectionist Trap– And let’s not forget the perfectionists among us (you know who you are). You spend three hours formatting a PowerPoint slide, tweaking the font size, and aligning the bullet points like your life depends on it. Meanwhile, the actual content of the presentation is about as substantial as a rice cake. Distractions love perfectionists—they’re their favorite playground.

 

The Grand Illusion of Busyness- Let’s be honest. That meeting that “could have been an email”? It wasn’t even worth the email. That dashboard you spent three days perfecting? The CEO glanced at it for exactly 7 seconds before asking a question that shows he never understood what it was for in the first place. We’ve become corporate magicians, transforming meaningless tasks into “mission-critical deliverables” with nothing but the power of calendar invites and buzzwords.

 

The Priority Paradox is where Everything Important Gets Ignored.

The Wake-Up Call-Next time you’re about to dive into the rabbit hole of corporate busy-work, ask yourself: “Is this moving me toward dominance or just making me feel important while accomplishing nothing?” Because here’s the stone-cold truth: At your funeral, nobody will say, “They really knew how to clear their inbox.” Figure out what matters before you run out of time.

 

The Distraction Economy is where You’re Being Played (And Paying For It).

 

The No-BS Priority Reset

-If it doesn’t drive revenue, slash costs, or make customers orgasmically happy, it’s not a priority. It’s organizational theater.

-Your calendar is not a democracy. It’s a dictatorship, and you’re the dictator. Act like it.

-Most “emergencies” are just poor planning wearing a crisis costume. Let them burn.

-That task you’re avoiding? That’s probably your actual priority. Everything else is just sophisticated procrastination.

–“No” is a complete sentence. Use it like you’re getting paid per refusal.

 

Because here’s the stone-cold truth: At your funeral, nobody will say, “They really knew how to clear their inbox.” Figure out what matters before you run out of time.

 

Some wise soul once said ” The view from the top is breathtaking..simply because there is no oxygen there ” .

 

Now picture this for a moment- A CEO receives news of his company’s stock jumping 20% after years of strategic repositioning. Instead of popping champagne, he immediately starts making calls about potential market volatility. Meanwhile, his COO is already planning a vacation to celebrate. That’s when it hits you—CEOs don’t just work in a different league; they exist in an entirely different universe where success is never quite savored and failure is marinated in like an overnight curry. The difference? Everyone expects them to not just eat it, but ask for seconds.

 

Imagine this( sorry, now it has become a habit with me!!): You’re Tim Cook, steering Apple to a $3 trillion valuation. You’re a global icon, a tech messiah. But somewhere in Cupertino, Karen from accounting is pissed because the new iPhone charger doesn’t fit her old dock. “What kind of leader can’t even get a charger right?” she mutters. Welcome to the life of a CEO—where you’re either the savior of the free world or the scapegoat for every minor inconvenience. Is the CEO’s job thankless? Probably, yes. But maybe it’s because we’ve got the whole damn title wrong. Let’s tear this apart and rebuild it—with more edge, more sass, and a lot more truth.

 

The spectacular isolation of command-When former Tata Group Chairman, the late Ratan Tata made difficult decisions during the 2008 acquisition of Jaguar Land Rover—a move initially criticized as reckless—he later revealed he had faced “some of the loneliest moments” of his career. Despite spearheading what became one of India’s most successful global expansions, Tata confessed that the height of leadership often meant “having conviction when everyone around you thinks you’ve lost your mind.”That’s the hidden tax of the CEO role—you’re making decisions in what amounts to psychological solitary confinement. While everyone else can vent their frustrations, debate the options, and ultimately point fingers if things go south, the CEO sits alone on decision island.The board wants results, the shareholders want dividends, the employees want security, and the customers want innovation at bargain prices. And you? You just want someone to talk to who isn’t trying to sell you something, including their opinion.

 

The Thank-You Notes That Never Arrive-When Microsoft India‘s former CEO Bhaskar Pramanik launched massive initiatives to increase technology access in rural areas, the financial returns weren’t immediately evident. The pressure from global headquarters was intense, but he persisted. Years later, these programs have transformed opportunity landscapes for millions—but as Pramanik noted in a rare candid interview, “The congratulations for long-term vision rarely match the criticism for short-term losses.” The CEO paradox in its purest form: Get blamed immediately for quarterly misses; get credit years later for visionary leadership—maybe—if someone remembers to attribute it to you.

 

The Global Comedy of CEO Expectations– Mind you, this is not an Indian phenomenon alone- look at these global stories. In Japan, Suntory CEO Takeshi Niinami publicly apologized and took a 50% pay cut when his company missed targets by 3%—targets that were already industry-leading. In America, he’d have received a “performance bonus” for coming close.In Denmark, Carlsberg’s former CEO Cees ‘t Hart famously held “failure celebrations” where teams presented their biggest mistakes and what they learned. When asked if he showcased his own failures, he responded, “As CEO, I don’t need a special event—my failures are celebrated by everyone, everyday, without my planning an event.”In Nigeria, Dangote Group’s Aliko Dangote built Africa’s largest industrial conglomerate while facing infrastructure challenges that would make most Western CEOs quit on day one. When asked about recognition for overcoming these obstacles, he laughed: “When something goes wrong, it’s ‘Dangote’s mistake.’ When something succeeds, it’s ‘Nigeria’s achievement.'”

 

The Recognition Asymmetry-When Indra Nooyi was PepsiCo’s CEO, she once mentioned that in twelve years of leading one of the world’s largest companies, she could “count on one hand” the number of letters she received from shareholders thanking her for her performance—including years when returns were exceptional. Meanwhile, complaint letters arrived by the truckload. Success as a CEO isn’t celebrated—it’s expected. Failure isn’t just criticized—it becomes your personal brand. Former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz put it perfectly: “As CEO, you get 100% of the blame and about 30% of the credit when things go right.”And he was being optimistic with that 30%.

Let’s get one thing straight: the CEO’s job isn’t about sitting in a corner office, sipping espresso, and signing checks. It’s about being the glue that holds the company together, the spark that ignites innovation, and the fire extinguisher when shit hits the fan. It’s about making the tough calls, owning the failures, and giving away the credit. It’s about being the North Star when the seas get rough and the punching bag when the seas get rougher.  So, is the CEO’s job thankless? Only if we keep pretending it’s just about titles and corner offices.

 

The Myth of the Glamorous CEO Life–Sure, CEOs get paid eye-watering salaries—like Ravi Kumar Singisetti of Cognizant with his Rs 186 crore paycheck—but let’s not forget what comes with it: sleepless nights, geopolitical crises, ESG compliance nightmares, and employees who think “open-door policy” means barging in during your lunch break to complain about the coffee machine.

 

The Global Stage: From Bezos to Buffet-Jeff Bezos may have blasted off into space, but back on Earth, he’s dodging criticism about worker conditions and tax evasion. Elon Musk? He’s either revolutionizing industries or setting Twitter on fire—sometimes literally. Even Warren Buffet, the Oracle of Omaha himself, has had to defend his investment decisions against armchair critics who’ve never read a balance sheet. CEOs are like rock stars without the groupies—everyone knows their name, but they’re just as likely to get booed as applauded.

 

Should We Re-Brand The CEO? Perhaps the title itself is part of the problem. Chief Executive Officer sounds simultaneously bureaucratic and imperial—a weird mashup suggesting both paper-pushing and autocratic power. It’s little wonder people develop confused expectations.What if we reimagined the title to better reflect the role? Vision Shepherd -Acknowledges that the primary job isn’t execution (that’s what the rest of the C-suite is for) but guiding the long-term direction and protecting it from short-term pressures. Chief Paradox Navigator- Recognizes that the essence of the role is managing inherent tensions—speed vs. quality, innovation vs. reliability, growth vs. profitability—with no “correct” answer.Organizational Weather System -Reflects the reality that the CEO’s mood, focus, and priorities create the climate in which everyone operates, for better or worse. Decision Heat Shield-Admits that a key function is absorbing the criticism for necessary but unpopular choices while reflecting credit to the team.Chief Future Officer -Centers the most critical and unique aspect of the role—keeping the organization focused on what’s coming while everyone else handles what’s happening now.

 

If It’s Thankless, It’s Worth It– The CEO life isn’t for the faint-hearted.
It’s for the mad ones, the risk-takers, the ones who wake up at 3 AM with crazy ideas.Yes, it’s lonely, brutal, and often unfair. But the ones who push through? They change the world. So if you’re leading (or planning to), embrace the madness. Because the best leaders don’t chase applause. They chase impact.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As dusk is settling in, a man walks into a fancy restaurant in Milan and promptly spills red wine on a pristine white table cloth. Rather than apologising, he shouted “MAGNIFICO!” with such genuine enthusiasm that the entire restaurant—waitstaff included—burst into applause. Onlookers watched in awe as this linguistic judo move transformed what should have been mortifying into something magical. That’s when you realise: it’s not the disasters that define us, but the words we attach to them.

 

Let’s get something straight: your words aren’t just describing your reality—they’re creating it. That’s not some woo-woo manifestation nonsense. It’s cognitive linguistics, baby. And it’s controlling more of your life than you realise. Words aren’t just floating through the air harmlessly like semantic confetti. They’re rewiring neural pathways, shifting cultural tectonic plates, and determining whether you’ll get that second date, that job offer, or that international peace treaty.

 

Now picture this( sorry, I know I am making you do this often): you are tuned into Bloomberg and watching two CEOs describe identical quarterly losses. The first said, “We experienced a temporary revenue adjustment during our strategic realignment.” His stock climbed 3%. The second said, “We lost money.” His stock plummeted 7%. Same financial reality, wildly different economic outcomes. It wasn’t accounting magic—it is linguistic alchemy. And it’s happening all around you, whether you’ve noticed or not.

 

Let’s cut the foreplay and get straight to the point: Words aren’t just words. They’re reality-bending, mind-hacking, money-making, culture-shaping psychological weapons. And most of us are walking around with fully loaded linguistic arsenals we barely know how to use. While you’re debating whether to call something “nice” or “pleasant” (yawn), master wordsmiths are out there turning cultural tides, launching billion-dollar brands, and rewiring our collective consciousness—one carefully chosen adjective at a time. And guess what? You’re being wordsmithed every single day, whether you know it or not.

 

Let’s get one thing straight: words are the ultimate weapon. They can start wars, end relationships, and make or break a brand faster than you can say “New Coke.” Yet, somehow, we’re still out here dropping verbal grenades like it’s open mic night at the apocalypse. From cringe-worthy ad campaigns to tone-deaf media headlines, the world is a minefield of linguistic landmines. So, let’s talk about why words matter—in culture, in advertising, and in media—and how getting them wrong can cost you everything. Buckle up, because this is going to be a wild ride.

 

The Linguistic Heist: How Words Steal Your Money– Remember when airlines stopped calling their cheapest seats “economy” and started calling them “basic economy“? That wasn’t a rebrand—it was daylight robbery via thesaurus. By adding that one little word—”basic”—they reframed their decades-old standard product as a stripped-down option. This linguistic sleight-of-hand made their regular “economy” seats (with the same legroom your grandfather complained about in 1987) suddenly seem like an upgrade worth paying extra for. Ka-ching. Millions extracted from your pocket through nothing more than linguistic repositioning. Or take the bottled water industry—a $300 billion global market built almost entirely on adjectives. “Artesian.” “Purified.” “Glacier-fed.” “Natural spring.” These aren’t just descriptors; they’re hypnotic incantations that convince you to pay 10,000% more for something that falls from the sky for free. If someone sold you a $3 handful of dirt by calling it “artisanal earth,” you’d laugh them out of the room. Yet here we are, collectively spending billions on what’s essentially well-dressed tap water.

 

Word Crimes That Changed History– Remember when BP had that little “oopsie” in the Gulf of Mexico? Their PR team immediately labeled it a “spill,” conjuring images of a tipped-over milk carton rather than the 210 million gallons of crude oil actually pumping into the ocean. The media obediently parroted this terminology, and public perception shifted accordingly. During the 2008 financial crisis, nobody was “gambling with mortgage-backed securities” or “committing fraud.” No, no. They were just “engaged in troubled assets” or experiencing “liquidity issues.” Those linguistic gymnastics helped ensure that exactly zero Wall Street executives went to prison. In 1993, the U.S. military didn’t “kill” anyone in foreign conflicts. They “serviced the target.” Civilians weren’t “killed”—they were “collateral damage.” These weren’t just euphemisms; they were psychological barriers between actions and consequences, constructed entirely of carefully chosen words.

 

The Cultural Vocabularies That Rewire Society- Every subculture develops its own language, and these vocabularies don’t just describe the culture—they create and maintain it. Silicon Valley runs on “disruption,” “pivoting,” and “failing forward.” These aren’t just buzzwords; they’re permission slips for behaviors that would get you fired anywhere else. Wall Street operates on “leveraging,” “arbitrage,” and “alpha.” These linguistic shields transform gambling into seeming science. Wellness culture thrives on “toxins,” “cleansing,” and “natural“—words that are scientifically meaningless but emotionally potent. These vocabularies aren’t just jargon—they’re complete operating systems for reality.

 

The Off-Beat Examples You Didn’t See Coming– The $125 Million Comma In 2006, Canadian company Rogers Communications found itself in a contract dispute with Bell Aliant. The issue? A single misplaced comma in a 14-page contract. That punctuation error cost Rogers $125 million. If that doesn’t convince you that words (and their arrangement) matter, nothing will.

 

The Prison That Renamed “Prisoners” -A maximum-security prison in Norway refers to its inhabitants as “students” rather than “inmates” or “prisoners.” The recidivism rate there? About 20%, compared to over 70% in countries using traditional prison terminology. When you call someone a student, they start behaving like one.

 

The Language of Pain– Studies show that how doctors describe pain significantly impacts patient experience. When a doctor says “This will feel like a bee sting” before an injection, patients report more pain than when they say “This might feel cold.” The words literally change the neurological experience.

 

The $250,000 Job Title Switch – Heard about this story of an executive recruitment firm about one of their clients who was stuck at a salary ceiling. His strategy? Change his LinkedIn title from “Head of Developer Relations” to “Chief Developer Experience Officer.” Same job, fancier words. Within three months, apparently he had offers $250K above his previous salary. The words created the value.

 

Advertising: Where Words Are Actually Magic Spells– Marketers have understood the reality-bending power of words since someone first tried to sell a second apple in Eden. When De Beers coined “A Diamond is Forever” in 1948, they weren’t just creating a catchy slogan. They were manufacturing an entirely new cultural expectation. Before this campaign, diamond engagement rings weren’t standard. Within a generation, they became mandatory. Those four words literally created billions in market value from thin air. Nike didn’t sell shoes with technical specifications. They sold “Just Do It“—three words that transformed athletic wear into identity statements. Insurance companies don’t sell “death and disaster financial protection”—they sell “peace of mind.” Pharmaceutical companies didn’t invent “erectile dysfunction“—they reframed what was once called “impotence,” with all its judgmental baggage, into a clinical condition deserving treatment rather than shame. These aren’t just marketing tricks. They’re evidence that the right words, properly deployed, can reshape cultural norms and personal identities faster than any legislation.

 

The Media: Professional Reality Constructors– Ever notice how news outlets choose wildly different words to describe the exact same events? One channel’s “freedom fighter” is another’s “terrorist.” One paper’s “tax relief” is another’s “tax cuts for the wealthy.” One blog’s “job creator” is another’s “exploitative billionaire.” These aren’t just stylistic choices—they’re installing entirely different operating systems in the minds of viewers. When COVID-19 hit, some outlets called it the “Wuhan virus” while others used the official designation. That linguistic choice correlated strongly with how their audiences perceived both the virus and Asian Americans during the pandemic. Words create worlds. Choose your news sources carefully—you’re not just consuming information; you’re selecting which reality you wish to inhabit.

 

The Corporate Word Crimes Hall of Fame –“Rightsizing“
Because “mass layoffs” sounded too much like what was actually happening.“Pre-owned“-Because “used” sounds like someone’s already done their best to break it. “Negative Growth” –Because “massive financial losses” might spook the shareholders. “Enhanced Interrogation Techniques“- Because “torture” is such an ugly word. “Conscious Uncoupling“
Because “divorce” sounds so… divorcy.

 

The Dating Profile Linguistic Analysis– Dating apps have analyzed millions of successful and unsuccessful profiles. The findings? Certain words dramatically impact your chances of finding love—or at least finding someone willing to swipe right. Men who use “physically fit” get 96% more interactions than those who use “in shape.” Women who use “passionate” get 64% more attention than those who use “driven.” These aren’t synonyms in the dating marketplace—they’re completely different products. On the flip side, men who use “unemployed” get 40% fewer matches than those who use “between jobs.” Women who use “divorced” get 52% fewer matches than those who use “single.” Modern romance isn’t dying—it’s just being aggressively A/B tested and linguistically optimized.

 

“Oops, Wrong Word” – The Most Expensive Mistakes Ever Made– Gerald Ratner wiped out his company overnight by calling his own jewelry “total crap” in a speech. Customers believed him. $500 million gone. McDonald’s tried “I’m Lovin’ It” in China. The literal translation? “I Like It Dead.” Appetite? Lost. Braniff Airlines boasted their first-class seats were “Fly in Leather.” In Mexico, that translated to “Fly Naked.” Sales went… down. HSBC had to spend $10 million on rebranding after their tagline “Assume Nothing” was misinterpreted worldwide as “Do Nothing.“ Customers took the advice.

 

If you’re still reading this, congratulations—you’re already one step closer to mastering the art of words. Now go forth and communicate like your life depends on it. Because, let’s be real, it kinda does.

 

Better unsafe than be sorry…

 

Picture this for a moment: a 12-year-old girl in rural Vietnam navigates a mountain pass on a rickety scooter, balancing what appeared to be her family’s entire worldly possessions behind her. Meanwhile, in California, parents are being investigated by child services for letting their 10-year-olds walk to school alone. Something isn’t adding up, and it’s not just cultural differences—it’s our entire relationship with risk.

 

One more to stretch your imagination please- visualise that you are standing at the edge of a 50-foot cliff in Acapulco( off the Pacific coast of Mexico), watching local divers plunge into a narrow inlet where the timing of waves meant the difference between exhilaration and catastrophe. A weathered diver notices your wide eyes and said something you’ll never forget: “In Mexico, we have a saying—if you wait for perfect conditions, you’ll never swim in the ocean.”

 

We’ve all heard the adage “better safe than sorry.” It’s whispered by well-meaning parents, reinforced by cautious teachers, and emblazoned across corporate compliance manuals. It’s the anthem of the risk-averse, the rallying cry of the comfortable-but-unfulfilled. But what if this cherished wisdom is actually holding us hostage?

 

What if—hear me out—we should instead embrace “better unsafe than be sorry“? Before you dismiss this as reckless nonsense, let’s be clear: I’m not advocating for jumping blindfolded into traffic or investing your life savings in cryptocurrency based on a dream you had. I’m talking about calculated risk-taking—the kind that propels humanity forward while everyone else is busy constructing elaborate safety nets that ultimately become cages.

 

The Mathematics of Regret– Let’s talk about the mathematics of regret, which surprisingly few people calculate correctly. Most of us overestimate the cost of action and underestimate the cost of inaction. We obsess over what might go wrong if we take a risk, while barely acknowledging what we sacrifice by standing still. Jeff Bezos frames this perfectly with his “regret minimization framework.” When deciding whether to leave his comfortable job to start Amazon, he imagined himself at age 80, looking back. Would he regret trying and failing? Perhaps. But would he regret never trying at all? Absolutely.

 

Better safe than sorry. Bullshit. That mind-numbing mantra has created generations of professionally cautious, expertly hesitant humans who’ve mastered the art of avoiding failure while simultaneously avoiding anything resembling an extraordinary life.

 

Global Risk-Takers Who Are Eating Your Lunch– While you’re triple-checking that spreadsheet, here’s what’s happening elsewhere:

Kenya: M-Pesa revolutionized mobile banking years before Western banks even considered it possible. Why? Because Kenyan entrepreneurs couldn’t afford to wait for “ideal conditions.” They built a financial revolution using the tools they had while Western counterparts were still forming committees to discuss feasibility studies.

 

China: In Shenzhen, hardware prototypes go from concept to production in days, not months. Their mantra: ship first, optimize later. By the time Western companies finish their risk assessments, Chinese manufacturers have already released three product iterations.

 

Iceland: After the 2008 financial collapse, they threw bank executives in prison and essentially rebooted their economy. When was the last time your country tried turning it off and on again?

 

The Privilege Paradox– Here’s the twisted irony: The more security you have, the less likely you are to take risks. People with multiple safety nets often take fewer chances than those with none. In Silicon Valley, it’s not the Stanford graduates from wealthy families starting the most disruptive companies—it’s often immigrants who’ve already risked everything just to get there. When you’ve fled political instability or crossed borders with nothing but hope, launching a business doesn’t seem so daunting. The people with the most to lose often risk the least, ensuring they’ll never gain much either.

 

The Graveyard of “Someday”– Someday is where dreams go to die comfortable, unmemorable deaths. Someday I’ll start that business. Someday I’ll write that book. Someday I’ll have that difficult conversation. Spoiler alert: Someday isn’t on the calendar. It’s a fantasy construct designed to help you feel better about not taking action today. We live in the comfortably myth that we will always have our tomorrow. But, without being a wizard at math, we know that our tomorrows are finite. The graveyard is the richest place on earth. So, get ready to Die Empty.

 

The Silent Epidemic of Regret– We have met people in their 80s and 90s and talked about their regrets. Not one—not a single one—said they regretted taking too many chances. The universal regret was playing it too safe, caring too much about what others thought, and postponing joy and adventure in favor of security. They didn’t regret the risks that failed; they regretted the risks untaken. As palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware documented after years working with the dying, the most common regret was “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Nobody lies on their deathbed thinking, “Thank God I always played it safe.”

 

Life’s Too Short for Seatbelts – Let’s get real: life is a blink. You can spend it tiptoeing around, terrified of making a wrong move, or you can throw caution to the wind and live out loud. Travel to that remote village. Start that business. Quit that soul-sucking job. Ask that person out. As Hunter S. Thompson famously said, “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, ‘Wow! What a ride!’”

 

Safety First – The Official Tagline of the Comfort Zone– The Titanic was “unsinkable.” Nokia was “invincible.” Blockbuster was “unstoppable.”
All played it safe. All are now cautionary tales.

 

“Safe” Is Just Another Word for “Stagnant”- Everyone said the Sistine Chapel ceiling would collapse if Michelangelo painted it the way he did. He ignored them. Today, it’s still up there, mocking caution. Elon Musk sank $100 million into SpaceX, and his first three launches exploded. The “experts” called him a delusional billionaire.” Now NASA rents rockets from him.
Sarah Blakely, founder of Spanx, was told shape wear was a niche, silly idea. She didn’t listen. Today, she’s a billionaire, and her critics are still wearing bad underwear. Had they played it safe, we’d still be riding horses, wearing corsets, and getting mail via pigeon.

 

Risk Is the Price of Admission to Greatness– Think about this: The first person to eat an oyster was either brilliant or completely unhinged. Either way, we owe them. Shigeru Miyamoto created Mario, Donkey Kong, and Zelda—AFTER his boss at Nintendo told him his ideas were “too weird.” Madonna, Lady Gaga, and Prince built entire careers by being too much while others played it safe in polyester suits. Trevor Noah took over The Daily Show despite critics saying a South African couldn’t replace Jon Stewart. Today? He made it his own. If you want to matter, you have to risk looking stupid. 

 

Discomfort is a proxy for progress.

 

The Joy of Regret Minimization– When we look back on our lives, what do we regret more: the risks we took or the chances we didn’t? A study by Cornell University found that people tend to regret actions they didn’t take more than those they did—like that time you hesitated to ask someone out and then spent years wondering what could have been. It’s like ordering a dish at a restaurant and thinking about how good the other options might have been while you chew on your bland choice.

 

The Fear Factor– Fear is a powerful motivator, but it can also be a crippling barrier. We often hear the phrase “better safe than sorry,” but what does that really mean? It means staying in jobs we hate, relationships that drain us, or cities that stifle our creativity—all because we’re afraid to take a leap of faith. Look at Bollywood’s own Priyanka Chopra; she left her comfort zone and ventured into Hollywood. Now she’s not just an actress but a global icon! If she had played it safe, we’d still be watching her in “Bajirao Mastani” instead of “Quantico.”

 

The Final Reckoning- We’re not taught to calculate the cost of safety, but we should be. It’s often catastrophically higher than the cost of calculated risk. The cost of safety is paid in: Unexplored paths, Unlived experiences,Uncreated art, Unlaunched businesses,Unexpressed truths,Unloved people.  These aren’t just poetic concepts. They’re the actual currency of a life well-lived, and no amount of security can compensate for their absence.

 

 

 

ACRONYM: Absurdly Confusing Reducer Of Normal Yielding Meanings

 

I was tempted to give an acronym for the first part of this blog caption; something like ASS..but quickly realised it was not fitting into the exacting standards that the present day mileu has set as benchmarks.

 

Visualise this for a moment: Last week, you watched as a new employee nodded confidently while our CEO discussed the need for better KPIs on our SaaS platform’s UI to improve UX for our B2B clients before our next QBR, so we could optimize our CAC and improve ROI before the EOQ. His expression remained engaged until our CMO asked him if he had any questions about our GTM strategy, at which point he panicked and responded, “Sorry, I need to BRB. Gotta drop my kids at the YMCA.” He has no children. And it was 3:30 PM. This, my friends, is the modern professional nightmare: death by acronym asphyxiation, where careers silently suffocate under an avalanche of capitalized letters that everyone pretends to understand.

 

Acronyms are the modern-day hieroglyphics. They’re designed to make you feel smart if you know them and stupid if you don’t.

 

The Great Acronym Overload– There was a time when LOL simply meant “laugh out loud” and not “Lord of Lameness” when someone sends a joke drier than a Rajasthan summer. But today, acronyms are breeding faster than Bangalore potholes in the monsoon. Ever sat in a meeting where a consultant casually dropped “We need a strong USP for our GTM with an agile OKR framework, aligned to ESG goals for better ROI”… and you just nodded, pretending to understand? Welcome to the WTF Age (World of Terrifying Fluff). We’re drowning in a TSUNAMI (Totally Stupid, Unnecessary Naming And Misleading Initials).

 

The Great Acronym Apocalypse– Today, the world is so stuffed with acronyms that conversations sound like scrambled passwords. You’re in a meeting, and some corporate samurai casually drops: “Our GTM needs a robust AI-ML integration to optimize CX, but let’s first check the FY QoQ EBITDA aligned with OKRs.” Translation? “We have no clue what we’re doing, but it sounds expensive.”

 

ACRONYM itself is an acronym, standing for “A Clever Reduction Of Nomenclature Yielding Meaning.” But in reality, it often ends up being “A Confusing Reduction Of Nomenclature Yielding Misunderstanding “.

 

Turning Normal Words into Wi-Fi Passwords – Gen Z doesn’t just speak in acronyms. They weaponize them. GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) – Used so often, even Kacha Badam singers think they qualify. And we all thought it was the animal. FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) – What happens when you hear your friends got free Cold Play tickets. RN (Right Now) – The speed at which Bangalore traffic allows you to move. Then there’s the terrifying Gen Z breakup text: “Hey, no shade but this is low key toxic. IYKYK. LMAO. TTYL.” Translation: “I’m dumping you, but I want to sound cool while doing it.”

 

The Jargon Jungle – Where Words Go to Die– Corporate warriors, government officials, and Gen Z have turned simple conversations into a secret code you need a CIA decryption manual for. Here’s some Corporate Speak Gone Wild: HR tells you, “Our EVP is aligned with the DEI framework and ESG initiatives.” Translation: “We don’t pay well, but we have bean bags and pizza Fridays.” “This quarter’s OKRs will drive our CX and EX for optimal LTV.” Translation: “We have no clue what we’re doing, but it sounds cool.”

 

Government Lingo – Making Confusion Official– GST, IT, TDS, PAN, UIDAI, RBI, SEBI, NCB, ED. Wait… Are we running a country or an alphabet soup factory? In India, we say “My Aadhaar is linked to my PAN” the way Americans say, “My FBI agent is watching my search history.”

 

Gen Z’s Secret Code: TBH, ICYMI, IMHO—Are they texting or typing out their WiFi password? “That new movie is fire AF, no cap!” Translation: It’s good. Just say it’s good.

 

Medical Acronyms – The doctor tells you “You have a mild URTI.” Translation: “You have a cold.” Someone at the gym tells you they’re on HRT and TRT. Are they working out or launching a space shuttle? The medical profession uses acronyms with such abandon that patients might as well be hearing Klingon. “Your CBC shows elevated WBCs, so we’ll order a CMP and maybe an EKG to rule out CHF or COPD exacerbation.” Translation: “I went to school for 12 years and I’ll be damned if you understand a word I say.”

 

Even better, medical acronyms often have multiple meanings. DNR can mean “Do Not Resuscitate” or “Department of Natural Resources.” Choose the wrong one, and either your heart stops permanently or you get a fishing license.

 

The Dating App Hellscape- Modern dating has evolved its own acronym ecosystem. Profiles now read like military operation codes: “NSA FWB ISO SBF for LTR, no ONS.” Translation: “I want all the benefits of a relationship without calling it one until I find someone better, but I’m disguising this fact behind acronyms so I seem sophisticated rather than emotionally unavailable.” GHOSTED isn’t an acronym, but it might as well stand for “Gradually Hoped Our Special Thing Existed Deeper.”

 

The Generational Acronym Gap– For millennials and Gen Z, text acronyms have evolved from simple time-savers (LOL, BRB) to emotional crutches. Ending a message with “/srs” because tone doesn’t translate in text, or using “/gen” to indicate you’re asking a genuine question, makes all of us look like we’re appending legal disclaimers to casual conversations.Meanwhile, Boomers have decided that LOL means “Lots of Love,” leading to messages like “Your grandmother passed away last night. LOL, Dad.”

 

Tech’s Acronym Addiction– Silicon Valley‘s entire personality is just acronyms in hoodies. Their business model: create a problem, build a SaaS MVP with an API that needs SDK integration to improve UI/UX, then exit via IPO or M&A before anyone realizes your TAM isn’t actually that big. I recently heard a tech bro explain to a potential investor: “We’re a B2B2C XaaS platform utilizing ML and NLP for our core IP with an emphasis on API-first architecture.” The investor gave him $10 million. The startup sold AI–generated horoscopes. The rest, as you would have guessed by now, was destiny.

 

Corporate Alphabet Terrorism– Corporate world hasn’t just embraced acronyms; it’s weaponized them. McKinsey consultants don’t solve problems — they implement ERP systems with proper KPI tracking to improve NPS scores by utilizing CRM data for better ROI on CAC. Translation: “We’ll install expensive software, make you track numbers nobody looks at, so customers hate you less when you use their data to spend money acquiring more customers who will also eventually hate you.”

Ever sat through an MBA presentation? It’s basically human ChatGPT generating business Mad Libs with acronyms. “We’ll leverage AI to optimize our CX strategy, focusing on high-LTV segments while maintaining competitive CAC:LTV ratios.” This sentence contains zero actual information but will get you hired at any Fortune 500 company.

 

India’s Special Acronym Relationship– India deserves a special mention in the Acronym Hall of Fame. The current administration has turned government initiatives into an acronym factory. NITI Aayog (National Institution for Transforming India) replaced the Planning Commission, apparently because “Planning Commission” was too straightforward. Then there’s JAM Trinity (Jan Dhan-Aadhaar-Mobile), PRAGATI (Pro-Active Governance And Timely Implementation), and AMRUT (Atal Mission for Rejuvenation and Urban Transformation). At this point, I’m convinced there’s a secret government department whose sole job is backronyming — coming up with words first, then torturing the English language until an acronym emerges.

 

My personal favorite is UDAN (Ude Desh ka Aam Nagrik), which means “let the common citizen fly.” Nothing says “accessible air travel” like an acronym that most common citizens can’t decode.

 

So the next time someone asks if you’ve considered how the EBITDA affects your CAGR or whether your OKRs align with company KPIs, just smile and respond, “Sorry, I operate under the KISS principle – Keep It Simple, Stupid.” Because at the EOD (end of day), the most powerful TLA (three-letter acronym) might just be WTF.

 

In conclusion, PMFJI (pardon me for jumping in), but IMHO, we need to KISS our acronym addiction goodbye before we’re all FUBAR. TTYL!

 

PS: FUBAR( Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition)!

 

Last Tuesday, while standing in my kitchen wearing three-day-old sweatpants and eating cold pizza directly from the fridge at 3 AM, I had an existential revelation: I should be sleeping. I should eat healthier. I should have finished my taxes, called my mother, and probably should stop using my gym membership exclusively as an expensive way to feel guilty every time I drive past the building. And in that moment, surrounded by the wreckage of all my shoulds, I realized I’d discovered the single most toxic word in the human language – the verbal cyanide we willingly swallow every day while wondering why we feel paralyzed.

 

Ok, all the above is imagined but I do reckon we have crossed these paths.

 

Some more imagination- this time see this as the opening sequence of a Hollywood flick- in quick inter cuts you watch a 43-year-old executive in a $3,000 suit nearly burst into tears because he “should” have made partner by now. Two tables over, a woman downed her third martini while texting excuses to the dating app match she “should” be meeting. Meanwhile, the bartender—with $120,000 in student debt for a philosophy degree—muttered about how he “should” be using his education. Three strangers, same prison, identical jailer: a single tyrannical word that’s quietly orchestrating the mass paralysis of human potential. Welcome to the Should Pandemic, where dreams go to die in real time.

 

Should is the most seductive, deceptive, and useless word in the English language. It’s corporate jargon for let’s pretend we’ll do something. It’s personal denial dressed as intention. And it’s why most people spend their lives waiting for permission to exist. Let’s burn this word to the ground.

 

The Relationship Should-Spiral Nothing kills romance faster than should. You should text back immediately. Should remember their mother’s birthday. Should express emotions exactly like they do. When Prince Harry and Meghan were busy thinking about what they should do as royals versus what they actually wanted to do, they ended up in a Netflix documentary explaining why they’re now selling scented candles instead.

 

The Instagram Should-Festival Social media isn’t just a platform; it’s a should-generating machine. That influencer’s immaculate kitchen suggests you should redecorate. Their vacation photos imply you should travel more. Their relationship posts indicate you should be more romantic. Their workout videos confirm you should exercise harder. Meanwhile, actual influencers are taking 47 shots to get one “candid” photo, filtering relentlessly, and still feeling they should look better. The should factory runs 24/7.

 

The Parental Should-Tsunami No human experiences more shoulds per second than a new parent. You should breastfeed exclusively (but not too long). Should sleep train (but not too early). Should stimulate brain development (but not over schedule). Should return to work (but not too soon). Should introduce diverse foods (but avoid allergens). The result is a generation of parents paralyzed in Target and Carrefour aisles, staring blankly at organic baby food options while questioning every life decision. Meanwhile, our grandparents raised children on cigarette smoke and lawn darts, and somehow civilization continued.

 

The ‘Should’ Trap: A Masterclass in Procrastination– Should is the linguistic equivalent of a participation trophy. It makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something just by acknowledging it exists. “I should exercise” feels like a step toward fitness, even if you’re lying on the couch eating chips. “I should save money” feels financially responsible, even as you click “Buy Now” on that third pair of sneakers you don’t need.  But here’s the kicker: should doesn’t just nudge you toward inaction—it thrives on it. It’s the guilt-tripping parent, the passive-aggressive friend, and the overbearing boss all rolled into one. And the worst part? It’s so damn sneaky.

 

Should is the ultimate con artist. It masquerades as responsibility, but it’s really just guilt in a three-piece suit. Every time you say “I should,” you’re not committing to action—you’re confessing to failure. The Should Epidemic in effect is A Pandemic of Procrastination.

 

Welcome to the ‘Church of Should.’ – Where sermons are delivered in boardrooms, where dreams die in meeting minutes, and where ambition rots in the graveyard of hesitation. Should is the universal language of self-sabotage. It’s the voice in your head that says, “You’re not good enough,” and then pats itself on the back for being “honest.”

 

The Should vs. Could Smackdown– Here’s where it gets interesting. Replace should with could, and suddenly, the world opens up. Should is a judgment; could is an option. Should is a scolding; could is an invitation.  Should is the assisted suicide of human potential.

 

Should is that slick-talking, suit-wearing corporate imposter that sounds ambitious but gets nothing done. It masquerades as intent, but all it really does is create a waiting room for action. And the worst part? We buy into it, letting it shape our choices, paralyze our decisions, and keep us stuck in an endless loop of “maybe later.” So, let’s call should out for what it really is—an elegant excuse for inaction.

 

The Silicon Valley Should Slaughterhouse Tech bros have elevated should to an art form. You should hustle 24/7. Should disrupt industries. Should network constantly. Should practice radical candor. Should optimize sleep. Should take cold plunges. Should micro dose psychedelics. The result? The highest burnout, divorce, and suicide ideation rates of any industry, all while preaching work-life balance in company mission statements. Y Combinator’s Paul Graham famously advised start with something embarrassingly small, but modern founders think they should start with something impressively massive—which is why most startups fail before they begin.

 

The Wellness Should Slaughter The modern wellness industry isn’t selling health; it’s trafficking in industrial-grade shoulds. You should intermittent fast. Should avoid gluten. Should take 47 supplements. Should track sleep. Should meditate. Should Journal. Should dry brush. Should infrared sauna. The human body survived millennia of famine, predators, and plagues, but apparently now needs a 17-step morning routine to function. Meanwhile, the people selling these wellness shoulds are often one nervous breakdown away from hospitalization. The cruel paradox: nothing undermines wellness like obsessing about wellness.

 

The Creative Should Annihilation- Nothing kills creativity faster than shoulding all over it. You should find your passion. Should monetize your hobby. Should build your personal brand. Should grow your platform. Should post consistently. Should collaborate strategically. The result? People who loved creating now hate the thing they once loved. Mozart never worried about his Instagram strategy. Picasso didn’t fret about his personal brand. Van Gogh sold exactly one painting while alive but kept painting anyway. True creativity exists in the absence of should.

 

The Existential Should Carnage – The deadliest shoulds are the existential ones. You should know your purpose. Should make an impact. Should leave a legacy. Should find meaning. Should be happy. These cosmic shoulds create the ultimate paralysis—the inability to simply exist without justification. Ancient philosophers spent lifetimes contemplating these questions without answers, but modern humans think they should solve existence between Zoom calls. The brutal truth? The universe doesn’t care what you should do. The planet will eventually be consumed by the sun. All human achievement will be forgotten. And that’s not depressing—it’s liberating. Nothing matters, which means you get to decide what matters to you.

 

Let’s cut the bullshit: should isn’t a word; it’s a socially acceptable form of self-flagellation. It’s expectation dipped in shame, marinated in comparison, and garnished with regret. Every time you say “I should,” you’re essentially saying, “I’m currently inadequate and failing at yet another thing.” And that, dear reader, is a steaming pile of psychological excrement. The most successful people aren’t those who do everything they should—they’re the ones who ruthlessly eliminate “should” from their vocabulary and replace it with “will,” “won’t,” or “who gives a flying fuck what anyone thinks I should do.”

 

So the next time someone tells you what you should do—including that dictator in your head—try responding with the only appropriate answer: “Should? Should is dead. And I killed it.” Then go do whatever you damn well please.

 

 

 

Assumptions are like invisible ink—they seem harmless until they’re exposed to light. And when your strategy is built on them, it’s not a matter of if it will collapse, but when. From corporate disasters to personal missteps, assumptions are the silent saboteurs of success. So, let’s pull back the curtain and see why betting on assumptions is like playing Jenga with your future.

 

Ever tried boarding a flight without checking the departure time? Or walking into a boardroom and assuming everyone already agrees with you? Sounds reckless, right? Yet, companies do this all the time—crafting multi-million-dollar strategies based on gut feelings, outdated “truths,” and wishful thinking. Spoiler alert: Reality doesn’t care about your assumptions. From billion-dollar failures to historic corporate face plants, the world is littered with the wreckage of leaders who assumed instead of verified.

 

The graveyard of certainty is where brilliant strategies go to die. Kodak‘s senior executives held the first digital camera in their hands—their own engineers invented it in 1975—and promptly buried it like a murder weapon. Their assumption? “No one will ever abandon film.” That $100 billion company now trades as a penny stock. Meanwhile, Blockbuster‘s CEO laughed Netflix‘s founders out of his office when they proposed a partnership. His assumption? “Americans will always want the experience of browsing video stores.” Which is why your children think “Blockbuster” is a vintage clothing brand. Welcome to the corporate slaughterhouse, where the murder weapon is always the same: unexamined assumptions.

 

The cost of comfortable certainty– Nokia‘s engineers assumed hardware would always trump software. BlackBerry believed business users would always prioritize security over apps. Meta bet $10 billion that people actually want to attend virtual work meetings as cartoon avatars. The more certain the assumption, the more catastrophic its failure. When Microsoft assumed the smartphone was a passing fad, it cost them an entire technological generation.

 

The demographic delusion – “Millennials don’t buy diamonds.” “Gen Z won’t pay for subscriptions.” “Boomers don’t shop online.” These age-based assumptions have all proven catastrophically wrong. When De Beers assumed younger generations wouldn’t want diamonds, lab-grown startups captured billions in market share by understanding the actual objection was ethical sourcing, not the product itself. Demographics predict far less than values and behaviors. RIP Demographics!

 

Assumptions vs. Data: The Battle for Clarity– Data is the antidote to assumptions. But too often, we ignore the numbers and go with our gut—because, well, it’s easier.  Google’s success is built on data-driven decisions. They test everything—from button colors to algorithms—because they know assumptions are the enemy of innovation.  Data doesn’t lie, but it does have a terrible sense of humor. Assumptions, on the other hand, are hilarious—until they’re not.

McDonald’s assumed it could sell burgers in Bolivia—Bolivia disagreed– The fast-food giant assumed that Bolivians would love a Big Mac just like everyone else. Turns out, Bolivian food culture values home-cooked meals, not fast food. After years of losses, McDonald‘s shut down all stores in Bolivia. Global strategies fail when they ignore local realities.

 

The Expertise Guillotine–  The more you know about your industry, the closer you are to getting your head chopped off by it. Taxi companies had a century of transportation expertise when they dismissed Uber as “illegal and irrelevant.” Newspaper executives had Pulitzer Prizes when they declared “people will always want their news on paper.” The same knowledge that built your empire blinds you to the barbarians at the gate. Expertise isn’t wisdom; it’s just sophisticated bias wearing a Brooks Brothers suit.

 

What do Titanic, Nokia, and New Coke have in common? They all sank—because someone, somewhere in a fancy boardroom, made a really dumb assumption. “This ship is unsinkable!” till iceberg says hello. “People will never give up physical keypads!” till Hello, iPhone.“Sweeter Coke? What could go wrong?” Well, everything.

 

Corporate history is littered with train wrecks disguised as strategic decisions. Why? Because instead of checking the facts, executives play business on “gut feeling” mode. The result? Strategy built on assumptions is like a parachute made of toilet paper. It might work—but you really don’t want to find out.

 

WeWork assumed it was a Tech Company—turns out, it was just fancy real estate- Adam Neumann told investors that WeWork was a tech revolution—not a real estate company with WiFi. Investors drank the Kool-Aid, and the company was valued at $47 billion. Reality check: The IPO prospectus revealed a dumpster fire of bad finances, and WeWork crashed harder than a cheap office chair. The lesson here is- Branding can’t fix a broken business model.

 

The Focus Group fallacy – No one in a focus group ever asked for an iPhone, Netflix, or Red Bull. People don’t know what they want until you show it to them. When Sony asked customers what they wanted in portable music, they described a better Walkman—not the iPod that would destroy Sony’s music business. If Henry Ford had asked people what they wanted, they would have said “faster horses.” Your customers can tell you what they hate, not what they’ll love. We over-index on the ” Customer is always right narrative. At best, they are mostly late “. Lesson: “Don’t find customers for your products; find products for your customers ” . 

 

The disruption myth– Disruption isn’t what you think it is(though we have been sold that lie for ages). It’s not about technology; it’s about business models. Netflix didn’t kill Blockbuster with streaming technology; it killed it with a subscription model. Amazon didn’t kill retail with websites; it killed it with ruthless logistics and razor-thin margins. Uber didn’t kill taxis with an app; it killed them with a labor model that didn’t require medallions. The most dangerous assumption is that innovation is about products when it’s actually about economics.

 

The competitive blindspot – Borders was watching Barnes & Noble while Amazon was watching Borders. Hotels were obsessing over each other’s loyalty programs while Airbnb was eating their business. Your competitor isn’t who you think it is—it’s who your customers think it is. While you’re perfecting your horse-drawn carriage, someone else is inventing the car. And they’re not even thinking about you.

 

Assumptions are like GPS directions from your uncle who hasn’t left his neighborhood since 1998. Sure, he sounds confident, but you’re probably going to end up in a ditch.

 

The difference between strategy and gambling isn’t the absence of assumptions—it’s the recognition that they exist. The most dangerous assumptions aren’t the ones that prove wrong; they’re the ones you never acknowledged making in the first place. Perhaps the most valuable strategic exercise isn’t creating the perfect plan, but ruthlessly hunting down the hidden assumptions that your beautiful strategy depends upon. After all, gravity doesn’t care if you believe in it before you jump off the cliff. Your assumptions are invisible until they fail—and then suddenly, they’re the only thing you can see.

 

The Assumption Tax is what your strategic certainty really costs! Assumptions don’t build businesses. They bury them. So, the next time you’re about to say, “I think customers will love this,” stop. Ask yourself: “Do I think it, or do I know it?”

 

Because in business, the difference between assumption and reality is often the difference between success and bankruptcy.